Why are we having a hard time taking care of ourselves at work?

Taking care of yourself is a common phrase that we all use. Sometimes a friend says it to us, and sometimes we are the ones saying it. But does the wish in this phrase just remain empty words, or do we really take good care of ourselves? The concept of self-care was theorized by Dorothea E. Orem in 1959 and is defined as the initiation and application of the skills necessary to maintain one’s health, life, and well-being at the appropriate time (Orem, 1991). According to the theory, self-care is influenced by many things, such as personal characteristics, environmental factors, demographic characteristics, and health status (Orem 1991). Orem listed the universal requirements as:

Drink enough water, eat well, and get fresh air.
Balance being active with giving yourself rest.
Spend time alone, but also make time for others.
Keep simple routines that support your well-being.
Stay away from habits or risks that harm your health.
Find a balance between what you want and what you can do.

These requirements affect our physical and mental health, without a doubt. We all incorporate some level of self-care into our lives to function daily. We eat, drink, socialize, rest, and protect ourselves from risks. However, self-care refers to practices we employ to sustain this functioning and applies to many areas of our lives, including the workplace. Self-care practices not just refer to food intake but also include having a healthy meal daily, or having a good time with a friend, or feeling socially supported, rather than just having social interaction. Even though it sounds doable daily, sometimes it is easy to push self-care aside, especially in a work life where you need to handle the fast-paced workflow, looming deadlines, piling-up files or client inquiries, and endless meetings. Even pushing self-care aside occasionally can be a necessity from time to time; experiencing this regularly and not compromising afterward might lead to detrimental consequences to physical and mental health.

Research indicates that self-care practices in the workplace are crucial to employee engagement, job satisfaction, and long-term productivity. Taking short breaks, paying attention to healthy eating, making the desk ergonomic, setting boundaries throughout the day, or asking for support when needed can strengthen both mental and physical resilience (New York Council of Nonprofits, 2023). In short, self-care is not a burden; on the contrary, it is the cornerstone of long-term engagement and healthy performance at work. In this therapy sketch, we will explore the concept of self-care in the workplace context.

What is self-care?

Self-care refers to the conscious choices and practices you make to maintain your own health and mental well-being. It is a regular and sustainable life practice, rather than just an occasional enjoyable activity. Self-care has multiple dimensions (New York Council of Nonprofits, 2023):

Physical self-care: Such as regular sleep, a healthy diet, exercise, and habits to protect body health.
Emotional self-care: Such as showing self-compassion, learning to cope with negative emotions, and being able to say ‘no’.
Social self-care: Such as building supportive relationships, maintaining boundaries, and spending quality time.
Relational self-care: Nurturing close relationships, open communication, and mutual trust.
Intellectual self-care: Such as learning new things, keeping the mind alive, and nurturing curiosity.
Spiritual self-care: Such as meditation, contact with nature, gratitude practices, or rituals that nurture personal beliefs.
Security and stability: Such as ensuring material, environmental, and health security.

Self-care practices, when they become habits rather than one-time actions, make it easier to cope with stress, strengthen relationships, and improve one’s quality of life. In short, self-care is the reflection in everyday life of the fundamental value.

Why are we having a hard time taking care of ourselves at work?

As you see above, self-care is not just a one-dimensional practice. It is a multi-layered process that ranges from physical routines such as regular sleep, healthy eating, and exercise to broader dimensions such as emotional compassion, social relationships, and mental and intellectual nourishment. Although they may seem simple habits, maintaining or practicing these routines across all dimensions can often become a challenging task, especially in a fast-paced daily life. You might find yourself sticking to the gym every week, but at the same time, postponing dinners with friends due to the demands of your work or skipping the chance to learn something new to finalize papers faster. Initially, this balance may seem healthy at first, but in the long run, it can lead to isolation, mental exhaustion, increased stress, and ultimately burnout. Focusing on just one aspect of self-care might be insufficient to achieve a sustainable balance.

Additionally, it is worth noting that work occupies a significant portion of the day. People often put off making time for self-care until after work or when they expect the pace to slow down, for example, eating after completing a task, stretching at the end of the day even though their legs ache from sitting for hours, or turning to coffee to stay awake when their body actually needs water. These are everyday signs showing how easily self-care gets pushed aside when work takes priority.

Also, self-care is not limited to meeting one’s physical needs. You might be careful about your lunch hours and water intake, but still experience a lack of small breaks that support emotional resilience, the ability to set boundaries, quality social relationships, and learning spaces that nourish the mind. These are also integral parts of the process.

Yet even with this awareness, people often struggle to maintain self-care. Sometimes you might find yourself questioning, despite knowing its importance, why you are still struggling to take care of yourself. Here is where theories in the mental health field provide us with further insight about this question:

Lazarus and Folkman’s stress and coping theory: This theory doesn’t actually focus on self-care, but it points out that when external demands increase, people often prioritize short-term tasks over long-term well-being. In other words, under stress, the human mind prioritizes the urgent. Completing a report, sending an email, or preparing for a meeting can reduce the perception of threat in the short term. Giving a small break, on the other hand, falls into the background because it does not produce immediate results. So we are actually postponing our long-term well-being to alleviate immediate anxiety. We think we are protected in the short term, but in the long term, this habit consumes us (Lazarus & Folkman,1984).
Albert Bandura’s concept of self-efficacy: According to Bandura, to sustain a behavior, we must first believe that it will be beneficial and that we can achieve it. In the self-care context, if we think “five minutes of breathing exercise won’t change anything anyway”, we won’t intend to do it. Reinforcing the feeling of “I should do it and it will help me to be more productive” through minor but repeated experiences makes self-care more sustainable (Bandura, 1997).
Deci and Ryan’s self-determination theory: This theory discusses the three fundamental psychological needs of autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Self-care is actually directly linked to these needs. For example, setting boundaries fosters our autonomy, learning a new skill enhances our sense of competence, and time spent with friends nurtures our relationality. When one of these areas is missing, self-care practices are superficial and do not fully nourish us (Deci & Ryan, 2000).

When any of these areas are absent, self-care is only superficial and fails to truly nurture us. Theories explain the reasons behind our struggles. Often, compromising on self-care to catch up on work or work more efficiently saves time and helps protect us from stress. However, in the long run, it can often lead to emotional disconnection, physical fatigue, poor work performance, reduced well-being, and eventually burnout. (If you are experiencing burnout and would like to learn more, you can check out our article here.) At this point, it may be helpful to ask how we can maintain self-care practices at work.

What can be done to contribute to self-care?

Even though it seems challenging, creating self-care routine and sustaining it does not require significant life changes. Most of the time, self-care routines are little pauses you sprinkle in without interrupting the day. Those little breaks you give yourself, without waiting for things to end, will sustain you in the long run. Here are the things you can practice:

Micro-breaks: A five-minute walk or a couple of deep breaths gives the mind the message “now I’m taking care of me”.
Priority reminders: A short encouraging note on your desk or a notification from your phone or calendar might be a small reminder not to put off care.
Small goals: Small but simple solutions, such as “I will not check my email after work,” might reinforce a sense of self-efficacy.
Setting boundaries: Being able to say “no” to meetings or extra work projects might protect your long-term well-being.
Mental nourishment: Starting a book from your favorite author, practicing short meditation, or finding new music from your favorite genre might break into your day, keep you connected not only to work but also to yourself.
Build Resilience: Building resilience at work can be important to ensure that self-care does not take a back seat. The process of building resilience starts with small awareness. Awareness of what is happening in your body and mind when stress comes can be the first step. Establishing small balances between work and rest, solitude and sociability is another step. Then, when things get tough, applying functional coping mechanisms such as asking for support or guidance is a simple step that strengthens ways of coping with stress and prevents self-care from taking a back seat (New York Council of Nonprofits, 2023).
Starting Therapy: If you find it hard to create a self-care routine or sustain one, starting therapy to learn how to take care of yourself can be another way to maintain long-term well-being.

Takeaways

Self-care is the initiation and application of the skills necessary to maintain one’s health, life, and well-being at the appropriate time.
Self-care encompasses seven pillars, including physical, emotional, social, relational, intellectual, spiritual, and financial security and stability.
Even though it sounds doable daily, it can be easy to push self-care aside, especially in a work life where you need to handle a fast-paced workflow.
Although we are aware of the importance of taking care of ourselves, many people struggle to maintain self-care at work.
That’s rooted in multiple causes, such as external demands leading people to prioritize short-term tasks over long-term well-being, or to sustain a behavior, we must believe it will be beneficial and achievable. Alternatively, we may lack fundamental needs of autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
Creating a self-care routine and sustaining it does not require significant life changes, such as practicing micro breaks, creating priority reminders, setting small goals, setting boundaries, working on mental nourishment, building resilience, and starting therapy

References

Orem, D. E. (2001). Nursing: Concepts of practice (6th ed.). Mosby.
Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. New York: W. H. Freeman.
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68
Lazarus, R. S., & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. New York: Springer Publishing Company.
New York Council of Nonprofits. (2023, June 21). Practical self-care in the workplace
Orem, D. E. (2001). Nursing: Concepts of practice (6th ed.). Mosby.
World Health Organization. (2021). Self-care interventions for health and well-being. Geneva: World Health Organization.