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Working Through Relapse and Reconnecting With Recovery

We often imagine recovery as a straight path: someone decides to make a change, receives support, and continues moving forward without looking back. In reality, recovery is rarely that linear. “Along the way, some people may experience periods of returning to substance use as part of their ongoing process of recovery. It may take the form of a brief return to substance use or a longer period of renewed use. For many people, this experience can bring feelings of discouragement, fear, self-criticism, or shame. Thoughts such as, “I’ve undone everything,” or “None of my progress mattered,” may naturally arise. Yet one difficult chapter does not erase the strength, insight, or healthier choices that have been built along the way. It can be helpful to view recovery as an ongoing process of growth, learning, and adjustment rather than as a test that someone either passes or fails. For example, a return to substance use can provide meaningful information rather than evidence of failure. It may suggest that additional support, new coping strategies, or a different approach is needed. Most importantly, it does not take away from the possibility of recovery or change we hope to create in our lives.

Why Relapse Happens?

Relapse usually does not happen for a single reason. More often, it emerges through a combination of stress, emotions, cravings, social situations, and changes in everyday life.

Increased stress is one of the common triggers in daily life. Work demands, financial difficulties, relationship challenges, grief, health concerns, or major life transitions can leave a person feeling overwhelmed. When alcohol or drugs have previously been used to cope with stress, the brain may continue to associate substance use with a sense of short-term relief. 

People, places, and memories can also serve as triggers. A familiar neighborhood, an old friend, a particular song, or even a certain smell may awaken powerful urges or memories of past substance use. Strong emotions can have a similar effect. Feelings such as loneliness, anger, guilt, sadness, anxiety, or rejection can be difficult to navigate. Even positive emotions, such as excitement or celebration, may become associated with substance use if those experiences were closely linked in the past.

These triggers are not signs of weakness or a lack of commitment. Instead, they offer valuable information about the situations, emotions, or experiences where additional support and coping strategies may be most helpful. With adequate support, these associations can change through learning, new experiences, and repeated practice of healthier coping strategies. Our brain can adapt and develop new patterns of responding, which means that over time, these triggers do not have to hold the same grip on us.

What Relapse Can Look Like  

Relapse may seem to happen suddenly, but the warning signs tend to show up earlier. A person may notice increasing anxiety, emotional strain, or a growing sense of being overwhelmed. They may gradually move away from healthy routines, attend fewer therapy or support meetings, or spend less time with people who encourage their recovery. Sometimes these changes remain hidden because the person feels ashamed or fears being judged.

Common warning signs may include:

  • Pulling away from friends, family, or treatment providers
  • Thinking more often about past substance use
  • Remembering mainly the relief or positive aspects of using
  • Believing that using “just once” will not have lasting consequences
  • Keeping cravings, thoughts, or changes in behavior to themselves

These changes can also affect relationships. Loved ones may feel concerned or uncertain about how to help, while the person may withdraw because of guilt, shame, or fear of disappointing others. This can create a difficult cycle: shame can lead to isolation, and isolation can make it harder to reach out for support or use healthy coping strategies, increasing vulnerability to substance use.

Relapse Does Not Erase Progress

Recovery is about much more than the number of days someone has gone without using substances. Even after a return to substance use, a person often carries forward the knowledge, self-awareness, and coping skills they developed during recovery. For example, one may recognize warning signs more quickly and have a clearer understanding of the kind of support that helps them most.

Still, because returning to substance use after a period of abstinence can carry significant medical risks because the body’s tolerance may have decreased, a return to old patterns deserves careful and gentle attention. After getting the medical support we need, we may explore options to adjust our treatment plan to more authentically reflect our individual needs.

This can look like creating a safe and grounding space and time to explore the circumstances, emotions, or unmet needs that contributed to the return to use. This way, we can investigate and understand where that additional support, different routines, or coping strategies may be helpful. 

How Therapy Can Help

When we return to substance use, it can stir up strong emotions like shame and embarrassment. This can prevent us from connecting to trusted friends, community, or professionals and therefore creates an invisible barrier between us and the support we deserve.

Connecting with a therapist who can offer a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore the experience with curiosity rather than self-blame can provide us a gentle starting point. Together, we may explore changes in stress, mood, sleep, relationships, cravings, daily routines, or participation in treatment and recovery activities. Looking at these patterns can help identify what may strengthen recovery moving forward.

For example, a treatment plan may be adjusted by:

  • Learning to recognize personal triggers and early warning signs
  • Reaching out for support more openly
  • Re-engaging with therapy or support groups
  • Repairing and strengthening important relationships

Therapy can also support us in understanding emotions that the process brings up in ourselves, such as shame or guilt. It can help us cultivate more compassion toward each other and create a plan that better supports the next stage of recovery. A return to substance use can be a painful chapter in someone’s story, but it does not have to define how the story continues. With honesty, self-compassion, supportive relationships, and appropriate care, recovery can continue to grow.

Takeaways 

  • Recovery is an ongoing process of growth and adjustment, not a straight path or a test to pass or fail.
  • A return to substance use often develops through a combination of stress, emotions, cravings, and everyday experiences, and can provide valuable information about where additional support is needed.
  • Early changes in thoughts, routines, relationships, or participation in recovery can be important warning signs and deserve attention.
  • A return to substance use does not erase the knowledge, strengths, or coping skills developed during recovery; it may be an opportunity to strengthen the recovery plan.
  • Therapy can help people explore the experience with curiosity and compassion, identify what contributed to it, and build a path toward continued recovery.

References: 

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At Roamers Therapy, our psychotherapists are here to support you through anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship issues, race-ethnicity issues, LGBTQIA+ issues, ADHD, Autism, or any challenges you encounter. Our psychotherapists are trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Acceptance, and Commitment Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, and Gottman Therapy. 

Whether you’re seeking guidance on a specific issue or need help navigating difficult emotions, we’re ready to assist you every step of the way.

Contact us today to learn more about our services and schedule a session with our mental health professionals to begin your healing journey. To get started with therapy, visit our booking page.

First, decide if you’ll be paying out-of-pocket or using insurance. If you’re a self-pay client, you can book directly through the “Book Now” page or fill out the “Self-Pay/Out-of-network Inquiry Form.” If you’re using insurance, fill out the “Insurance Verification Form” to receive details about your costs and availability. Please let us know your preferred therapist. If your preferred therapist isn’t available, you can join the waitlist by emailing us. Once your appointment is confirmed, you’ll receive intake documents to complete before your first session.

This page is also part of the Roamers Therapy Glossary; a collection of mental-health related definitions that are written by our therapists.

While our offices are currently located at the South Loop neighborhood of Downtown Chicago and Lakeview on Chicago’s North Side, Illinois, we also welcome and serve clients for online therapy from anywhere in Illinois and Washington, D.C. Clients from the Chicagoland area may choose in-office or online therapy and usually commute from surrounding areas such as River North, West Loop, Gold Coast, Old Town, Lincoln Park, Rogers Park, Logan Square, Pilsen, Bridgeport, Little Village, Bronzeville, South Shore, Hyde Park, Back of the Yards, Wicker Park, Bucktown and many more. You can visit our contact page to access detailed information on our office location.