Older sketches
Unpacking the Religious Trauma: A Journey Through Understanding
November 2024
Therefore, religion has unique contributions to people’s lives. While religion can offer support, meaning, and a sense of belonging, it is also essential to recognize that it can sometimes lead...
Feeling of Surprise: Embracing the Uncertainty
October 2024
According to Paul Ekman’s research, surprise is one of our fundamental emotions. As surprising as it is, we feel surprised when we come across something we do not expect. This...
Making Sense of Emotions: Experiencing and Identifying Feelings
October 2024
Sometimes, we may struggle to manage our emotional responses to the events we encounter. This may be caused by various reasons, such as being unaware of emotions, unable to identify...
Insights into Sadness: How does it affect us?
October 2024
The word “sadness” comes from the Latin “satis,” meaning satiation or fullness. As its origin suggests, feeling sadness can create a heavy sense of fullness in the body and mind....
Fear’s Purpose: From Threat to Safety
September 2024
What do we fear? Fear is one of the most extensively researched emotions in literature. To answer what we fear, several studies have been conducted. In one of the earliest...
Finding Joy: How to Build a Lasting Happiness
September 2024
As you notice, we divide happiness into short-term or long-term because when people talk about being happy, they mean either how they feel at the time or how they feel...
Exploring Anxiety: Understanding Anxiety as a Complex Emotion
August 2024
Anxiety is an emotion that is experienced due to thoughts of future outcomes that could happen at some time in the future. Anxiety is classified as a secondary emotion, which...
Understanding Anger: From Reaction to Conscious Response
August 2024
Primary Emotions: Primary emotions emerge immediately and instinctively. They are experienced universally, but what differs is the culture in which they manifest. According to psychologist Paul Ekman, there are six...
Breakup Ideation: Thinking About the Worst Case Scenario
August 2024
The answer for this might be breakup ideation because of your way of coping with the negative emotions experienced, such as sadness, anxiety, or fear. Imagining those details and maybe...
Navigating Flooding: Managing Emotional Overload During Conflicts
August 2024
John Gottman’s studies about romantic relationships illuminate multiple aspects of happy, long-lasting relationships. One strong point they emphasize is conflict management. Gottman and his colleagues found that in happy relationships,...
Recovering from an Affair: Rebuilding Trust
July 2024
The definition of an affair is breaking an agreement between partners or doing something to hurt a relationship. The discovery that a partner has crossed the line can feel earth-shattering,...
Balancing the Stress Level: Window of Tolerance
July 2024
Each of us operates within a unique optimal stress level, a threshold that can be triggered by various situations. Understanding this optimal stress level is key to managing our stress...
Communication Breakdown: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
July 2024
Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, but why do some couples navigate arguments smoothly while others get stuck in endless conflicts? From moving forward to this question, John...
Aftermath of a Fight: Processing a Regrettable Incident
June 2024
During a fight with your partner, especially when emotions run high, you may need to defend yourself or express your point of view. Amid this, hurtful words can be exchanged,...
Feeling Heard by Your Partner: Gottman-Rapoport Intervention
June 2024
What is a “Conflict” between partners? We can experience “conflict” in many contexts, whether job or social life-related. However, how we define it while we have a conflict with our...
Optimizing Daily Routines with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
June 2024
Our daily routines are part of our self-care. By building daily routines, we form a list of actions that nurture our body, soul, and mind. We all have unique daily...
When Our Therapists Don’t Say What We Want
May 2024
Oftentimes, we come to therapy with an agenda. Our agendas can be specific goals, such as processing a trauma, learning to cope, or grieving a loss. These can all be...
Friendship Breakups
May 2024
Relationships are hard work, and breakups are difficult. However, breakups are not just for romantic relationships. One of the most overlooked types of breakup is a friendship breakup. Research shows...
Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Challenging Your Automatic Thoughts
April 2024
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the first modalities that comes to mind when we think of therapy modalities. According to Norcross and Karpiak’s research, it is one of...
Manifestations of Power and Control in Intimate Relationships
April 2024
Intimate relationships provide mutual support and fulfillment and promote positive growth and development for both partners. However, power and control might negatively affect this positive growth and development for the...
Rupture of Therapeutic Relationship
March 2024
In many areas, several psychotherapeutic modalities conflict with each other in theory. However, they all have one factor in common: the healing aspect of the therapeutic alliance between therapist and...
Working Through Guilt
March 2024
The feeling that pops up when you put off doing something daily, when you are late for an event because you didn’t leave early, or when you want to change...
Interdependence in Relationships: Losing Balance Over Fear
March 2024
Interdependence is a common factor in healthy relationships. Interdependence is finding the balance between self and others within a relationship, be it romantic or friendship. What we mean by balanced...
A Mindful Life: You Are the Driver of Your Own Bus
February 2024
Currently, mindfulness is practiced in many forms of psychotherapy and has gone far beyond the field of psychotherapy. Relatedly, studies on this topic are on the rise, and we are...
What is a thought record and how do I do one?
October 2023
You may have heard your therapist or someone else use the term “thought record” before. Perhaps you’ve even done one yourself without even realizing! A thought record is an essential...
Why we find ourselves people-pleasing and how it can be harmful?
October 2023
Have you ever considered yourself to be a people-pleaser? Maybe it is a label someone else has given you or you’ve taken ownership of yourself but you’re not really sure...
The value of LGBTQ+ representation in media and its impacts on our mental health
October 2023
For many of us LGBTQ+ folks, we may have grown up not seeing ourselves in the media. We were watching tv shows and movies, or reading books about heterosexual relationships...
Dealing with homophobia
September 2023
Homophobia Whether you live in a major city or a rural town, homophobia still persists. Depending on where you are in the country or who you have in your circles,...
What your birth order says about you
September 2023
Have you ever wondered whether your birth order affects who you are? Or find yourself relating to people who are also the youngest, oldest, or middle child? While all families...
Why is it so hard to make friends in your 20s?
August 2023
As a young person in your twenties, you might be finding yourself struggling to make new friends. Perhaps you just moved to a new city or accepted a new job,...
Why is mutual empathy important for connection?
August 2023
Oftentimes, we may get stuck in relational patterns that promote disconnection or isolation. For example, we might not feel safe engaging in conflict with a certain friend so we keep...
Book Review of Group by Christie Tate
August 2023
“You don’t need a cure. You need a witness.” – Christie Tate’s therapist
Taking a break after a fight
July 2023
We’ve all gotten into a heated argument with someone. Whether it was someone we are close to (like a partner or a friend) or someone we are less close to...
The Spooky Truth about Ghosting
July 2023
With technology becoming such an integral part of communication, socializing, and dating, ghosting has unfortunately also become common. Though scary, ghosting in this sense does not refer to phantoms, spirits,...
Why will my therapist not say more about themselves?
July 2023
Self-disclosure is the process of therapists revealing parts of themselves in therapy to clients. It can take many forms and can be as subtle as a therapist sharing emotions they...
Does my therapist’s approach matter?
July 2023
While your therapist’s approach is important in the therapeutic process, the therapeutic alliance is arguably more important. The therapeutic alliance is one of the biggest predictors as to whether therapy...
Nutrition and mental health
June 2023
Many times, therapists hear clients say that they don’t have time to eat throughout the day. Sometimes it’s because they are tired and want to sleep in and other times...
The Anxious Voice
June 2023
You have a voice in your head; your conscious and subconscious self. This voice tells you what to say, what to do, how to feel. This voice is an artifact...
Book Review: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents By Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD
June 2023
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents highlights different characteristics of emotionally immature parents, how children raised by these parents are influenced in adulthood by their experiences, and methods of coping...
Taking accountability and dealing with guilt
June 2023
The phrase “take accountability” is widely understood as synonymous with taking responsibility, whether it be for one’s actions or words that have harmed a person or multiple people. When you...
Celebrating others when you’re going through a tough time
May 2023
When you’re going through a tough time, it can be hard to see the success of others, especially those close to you. Your response to your loved ones’ happiness and...
Friendships in adulthood
May 2023
There are some transitions we expect to experience in adulthood, but many changes during this period come as a surprise. No one prepares us for the shifts in our friendships,...
Why conflict avoidance is unhealthy
May 2023
Sometimes clients come into sessions expressing that they are non confrontational and that they do not express frustration until it becomes too burdensome for them to carry. If we find...
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
May 2023
For many people, the concept of an adult has taken on a meaning that may be damaging to our mental health. The term adult seems to have become synonymous with...
The Nature of Feeling Good
November 2022
Our ancestors were onto something in regards to their reverence of nature. In many ways, nature is a reflection of the human experience. Nature evolves, endures, shifts, and grows, as...
Things your therapist wants to know
August 2022
At times, it can become easy just to listen to what our therapist tells us during our sessions and to just accept what they have to say. We do this...
How should I prepare for my therapy session?
July 2022
Therapy is a safe space where people can get what they need, whether that is clarity, insight, relief, or just peace of mind. Because of this, it is important to...
Grief
April 2022
Grief is the process that takes place after the loss of something or someone you love. Grief can consist of physical (e.g., Sleep disturbances, weight change), emotional (e.g., anxiety, irritability,...
Moving forward with a diagnosis of personality disorder
April 2022
It is exceedingly common for people who receive a diagnosis of personality disorder to experience a sense of hopelessness. The term personality disorder refers to several distinct disorders with unique...
Is jealousy in relationships healthy?
March 2022
Jealousy is a complicated emotion that stems from feelings of insecurity and fear of losing something. People worry that their partner may be unfaithful and break their relationship agreement or...
It’s okay to feel your emotions
February 2022
Many times I have experienced people expressing discomfort with feeling their emotions— they resort to finding distractions to quickly avoid confronting them, suppressing their feelings altogether. There is fear that...
What is Trauma Dumping
January 2022
Trauma Dumping is a term that has recently made its way into the social media discourse on mental health. The term refers to sharing one’s traumatic experiences with someone who...
What does it really mean to “self-soothe”?
January 2022
The term self-soothe is most commonly used to describe the ability of a young child to regulate their own emotions without the physical presence of a caregiver. This ability is...
Book Review: The Body Keeps the Score
December 2021
“Trauma victims cannot recover until they become familiar with and befriend the sensations in their bodies. Being frightened means that you live in a body that is always on guard.”
Starting medication for depression and anxiety
December 2021
The decision to start psychotropic medication is deeply personal and complex. Many people have big feelings about medication, and struggle with insecurities that the use of medication to treat depression...
Handling the holidays with a dysfunctional family
November 2021
This is the time of year where people are planning to take trips back home, share meals, warm moments, and create lasting memories. That sounds ideal, but you may be...
Discussing Scary Topics in Therapy
October 2021
Therapy is a wonderful place for individuals to explore various parts of themselves, gain insight on their lives, and get some relief. However, therapy can also be a place to...
“Let the daylight in”: Seasonal affective disorder
October 2021
As the earth takes its natural journey in the solar system, the consequences of its course are felt all around. With the recent autumn equinox following winter, we will continue...
Navigating Ruptures in Therapeutic Relationship
October 2021
Therapy is a personal space for you to explore your thoughts, feelings, insecurities, traumas, and so much more. As such, therapists should ensure that they are fostering a warm and...
Intimate Partner Violence
September 2021
The phrase “intimate partner violence” can elicit various emotions or thoughts. Most people think of extreme physical violence, often what they see on tv or the news, which is true....
I feel like crying
September 2021
Asking for permission to cry has been one of the most interesting questions I’ve heard as a therapist. Along with crying, there are often a series of apologies that follow...
Social Anxiety: More than a Social Fear
August 2021
Social anxiety may take the form of several mental and physical symptoms.
Are the demographic characteristics of our therapists important?
July 2021
Many times, people who are new to therapy will ask whether the demographic characteristics (e.g., gender, race/ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, etc.) of their therapists matters. That is, is therapy more...
What is the importance of LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy?
June 2021
Lesbian, gay, bisexual transgender, queer, intersex, and asexual (LGBTQIA+) affirming therapy is a therapeutic approach that focuses on embracing diverse sexual and gender identities. LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy is much more...
Counteracting Mental Health Stigma
May 2021
You’re considering seeking therapy for the first time, but a part of you may wonder what that means, or what others may think of you. Most of us have heard...
Tips for Coming Out to People
April 2021
Coming out is the process of revealing your sexual orientation and/or gender identity to yourself and to people you choose. People will come out to themselves, loved ones, and people...
Tips to help you get through “bad days”
September 2020
You may not be able to turn a bad day to a good one all the time, but you may be able to get through it a bit easier with...
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Why Is Trauma Informed Therapy Important?
August 2020
The word “trauma” can elicit numerous thoughts. One of those might be, “I don’t have trauma, why would I need a trauma informed therapist?” That is a valid question; one...
How to Understand Your Sex, Gender, & Gender Identity
August 2020
Sex, gender, and gender identity, are all terms that are constantly used interchangeably, though all are different. Sex refers to a decision made by a medical professional as to whether...
Managing work stress from affecting your personal life
August 2020
Do you struggle with separating your work from personal life? This has been a very common problem many people run into even before the global pandemic. Now, many of us...
Figuring out our personal goals for therapy
August 2020
When we think about health, whether it be physical or mental health, we tend to focus on the things we don’t want. We go to the doctor because we’re sick,...
How to avoid perceiving productivity as an indicator of our self-worth
August 2020
Have you ever thought to yourself why you find success so important that it negatively affects your feelings of self-worth? Then, it may be fruitful to explore the genesis of...
Setting boundaries with loved ones
July 2020
Boundaries are what we set with individuals in our lives to let them know:
3 questions to ask your therapist in your first session
July 2020
I can speak from personal experience just how challenging it is to find the right therapist because I never knew what I was searching for. Having a good connection with...
Understanding attachment styles with the guidance of the book, “Attached” by Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A.
July 2020
“Most people are only as needy as their unmet needs. When their emotional needs are met, they usually turn their attention outward. This is the “dependency paradox”: The more effectively...
Feeling anxious about your first time in therapy? Here’s what to expect:
July 2020
The thought of going to therapy can be a very scary one, especially if it is your first experience. It is completely common and normal to have concerns or expectations...
What is the difference between self-care versus self-discovery?
July 2020
Definitions: Self-care (noun): the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health. The practice of taking active role in protecting one’s own well-being during periods of stress....
Apricots
Isabele Allende This quotes reminds me of how difficult times in life radiate feelings of limitations in all of our possibilities. It is that moment where you are only left...