How do you protect your boundaries between your personal life and work?
Nowadays, workplaces are not limited to offices and certain work hours anymore. Remote work, hybrid setups, flexible working hours, and endless emails and calls have made us constantly reachable. The pandemic sped up a shift that was already happening, and now we are just an email or a meeting away from our workplace. This new work style we have adopted has been making some tasks easier. For example, things are moving faster, and questions are answered right away. But at a cost that we have not been able to anticipate. When you’re always connected, you’re also never really off. Your mind doesn’t get a chance to rest, and your body doesn’t get to exhale. You start answering emails at midnight or thinking about a virtual meeting while eating dinner. Slowly, the space between work and life disappears, and with it, the sense of balance that keeps us steady. This is where personal boundaries are essential. They are not just rules you set for colleagues, clients, or supervisors. They’re reminders that you give yourself when to close the laptop, when to put the phone down, and when to actually rest.
To put it simply, what we call personal boundaries are the ways we protect our physical, emotional, and mental space, and make sure that space is respected. Maintaining personal boundaries in the workplace helps determine which behaviors are acceptable, which tasks fall within your area of responsibility, and which situations could be detrimental to your well-being. These boundaries play a critical role not only in protecting yourself and your space but also in establishing healthy and respectful relationships in the workplace in the long term.
When boundaries between work and personal life are unclear, it can lead to challenges like a heavier workload, causing stress, insufficient time for personal life and rest, and eventually burnout. Neglecting these boundaries can lead to negative consequences such as increased stress levels, decreased performance, and reduced overall job satisfaction. That’s why having clear boundaries is not only essential for creating a healthier balance between work and life but also for overall well-being. Work and life have always needed limits, but the way we connect today has made those limits harder to keep. It’s not entirely a new concept, but the pace and the reach of technology have made the challenge much bigger. Adjusting to this shift isn’t always easy, and it takes practice. So how can we begin to draw those lines in a way that truly supports both our work and our well-being? In this therapy sketch, we will take a closer look at drawing and maintaining personal boundaries in work, especially in modern settings.
What Are Boundaries at Work?
Boundaries are the physical and psychological ways we organize the different parts of our lives. It’s the invisible lines we draw as we move back and forth between different roles in our lives. The boundary theory developed by Ashforth et al. (2002) actually looks at these small transitions. For example, we step into the work role as we leave the house in the morning, take a short break at a café or gym at lunchtime, and then go back to work. These micro transitions require us to constantly adjust, both mentally and physically. According to Ashforth et al., we have different kinds of boundaries. Some boundaries we have about work are physical (there is a difference between office space and the place we rest), temporal (the time we allocate to work is not the same as our personal time), and cognitive (our thoughts that we focus on work tasks rather than personal topics). These boundaries help us draw lines between work and private life.
Another important thing about these boundaries is how strong they are. The strength of the boundaries is explained by flexibility and permeability. Flexibility refers to how much the boundary can stretch. For example, if you can shift your work hours to take care of a family frequently (or vice versa), that’s a flexible boundary. Permeability refers to how much one side crosses into the other. For example, taking a personal call at work or preparing for a meeting out of work hours are signs of a permeable boundary.
Clark’s work/family boundary theory adds another perspective on how you manage your boundaries. Clark explains that boundaries between work and home are not only about how strong they are, but also about how we manage them because people differ in the way they handle these boundaries. Clark divides people as separators and integrators in accordance with how they manage the work-life balance. Separators are the ones who try to keep work and family as far apart as possible. When the workday ends, they really switch off. At home, they don’t talk or even think much about work. They keep the two worlds separate as much as possible. Integrators, on the other hand, let work and family blend together. They might work from home, bring work friends into their social circle, or take care of family tasks in the middle of the workday. For them, the lines between the two roles are thinner and more flexible.
The Challenge of Protecting Boundaries in Modern Working Settings
Using technology (apps, emails, and other online systems) has brought many benefits to work life. Many people feel more independent and effective when they have the autonomy to decide how and when to work (Mazmanian et al., 2013. It brings many opportunities to strengthen engagement and connect to their workplace (ter Hoeven et al., 2016). We can say that technology sometimes makes the juggle a little easier by helping us manage both work and private life demands more smoothly (Batt & Valcour, 2003). There are many cases where people enjoy working remotely, hybrid, and flexible conditions, and for them, the modern work settings don’t just blur roles; they help integrate them, making room for more balance, flexibility, and access, and giving them the autonomy and tools to get things done (Valcour & Hunter, 2008).
On the other hand, these advantages exist alongside new challenges. The same tools that give us freedom can also blur the very lines that theories once described much more clearly. As you may notice, these theories were formed in the early 2000s when physical and temporal boundaries were sharper than they are today. However, in today’s world, remote or hybrid work systems or flexible working hours are used in many industries. Sometimes it’s for efficiency, sometimes out of necessity. But this shift changes the way we live our boundaries. Physical, temporal, and cognitive boundaries have become much more flexible and permeable. Your living room can double as your office. The chair where you once rested can now be your desk. The hours you once called “me time” can now easily turn into work time. Even at the cognitive level, boundaries are blurred. For example, when you are having an important conversation with a friend, an email notification can suddenly take your attention back to work. After that, it becomes difficult to stay in the moment. And sometimes, the flow goes the other way. While working remotely or in hybrid settings, you may feel the need for “me time” during work hours, or a message from a family member may distract you from the task you are trying to finish. In practice, this means that the natural separation Ashforth described, or the division Clark highlighted between work and family, is harder to maintain. Because boundaries now shift so easily, the way we manage them becomes even more important. It’s not only about noticing when roles bleed into each other, but also about finding strategies to redraw the lines in ways that protect both our productivity and our well-being.
How Can We Set Boundaries between Work and Personal Life?
To set our boundaries between work and personal life in modern times, we need to remember that balance and new adjustments don’t just happen on their own. It takes small but intentional steps. Boundaries are not walls; they are guides that help us know when it’s time to lean into work and when it’s time to step back and recharge. Here are some intentional steps you can keep in mind while maintaining your own boundaries:
Being aware of how you manage boundaries can help you make changes. For example, if you’re an integrator and want to become a separator, you can learn to manage boundaries by working in segments. And if you feel that your boundaries are not flexible enough, or maybe too permeable, noticing this gives you the chance to work on them and draw new boundaries that fit better with your own needs.
Create simple rituals that help you step in and out of your roles. Developing our time management skills can be a good first step. Managing time effectively is key to achieving balance in both our professional and personal lives. In this process, it is essential to determine which tasks are a priority and set boundaries accordingly.
Maintain your boundaries by creating micro rituals that make role transitions easier. According to Ashforth and colleagues’ (2002) boundary theory, one way to maintain boundaries between work and personal life is to create “micro-transitions.” Making or preparing your morning coffee signals to your mind that “it’s time for work,” while turning off your computer in the evening or taking a short walk sends the message that “the workday is over.” These small rituals facilitate the transition between roles.
Keep one corner for work, so the rest stays yours. According to Clark’s (2000) work/family border theory, establishing clear boundaries between work and home is a critical step in maintaining work-life balance. You don’t need an entire room; a desk or even a corner will suffice. When you move to your workspace, your mind switches to “work mode,” and when you leave, it allows you to relax. This makes both physical and cognitive boundaries more distinct.
Do not be rigid about boundaries; instead, find your own balance. Flexible boundaries can sometimes be an advantage, and boundaries don’t always have to be so rigid. Taking a short break every hour, stretching a bit, or doing a 5-minute breathing exercise gives you mental and physical flexibility. Methods like the Pomodoro Technique increase productivity by structuring these transitions.
Do not stay isolated; stay connected with loved ones. Working from home can sometimes make you feel isolated, but regularly checking in with your teammates or calling your loved ones supports your emotional well-being, even if it makes your work-life boundaries more permeable. The important thing here is to manage your connections according to your own needs.
Speak clearly about your needs. Respecting each other’s boundaries creates a healthier and more productive environment in every workplace. However, it is also essential for individuals to know the methods they can use to resolve situations where boundaries are violated. In such situations, clear and constructive communication can prevent potential conflicts and help maintain boundaries. In the digital world, setting boundaries regarding email, messaging, and access outside of work hours, as well as protecting mental health through digital detox, are also part of personal boundaries.
Takeaways:
- Boundaries are the physical and psychological ways we organize the different parts of our lives.
- We have different kinds of boundaries: physical (separating work space and rest), temporal (distinguishing work and personal time), and cognitive (focusing thoughts on work rather than personal topics).
- Using technology (apps, emails, and other online systems) has brought many benefits to work life alongside new challenges. The same tools that give us freedom can also blur the very lines.
- To set our boundaries between work and personal life in modern times, we need to remember that balance and new adjustments don’t just happen on their own. It takes small but intentional steps.
References:
Ashforth, B. E., Kreiner, G. E., & Fugate, M. (2000). All in a day’s work: Boundaries and micro role transitions. Academy of Management Review, 25(3), 472–491. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.2000.3363315
Ashforth, B. E., Kreiner, G. E., & Fugate, M. (2002). Boundary theory and role transitions. In M. R. Pittinsky (Ed.), Identity, flexibility, and boundary work (pp. 9–25). Oxford University Press.
Batt, R., & Valcour, P. M. (2003). Human resources practices as predictors of work-family outcomes and employee turnover. Industrial Relations: A Journal of Economy and Society, 42(2), 189–220. https://doi.org/10.1111/1468-232X.00287
Clark, S. C. (2000). Work/family border theory: A new theory of work/family balance. Human Relations, 53(6), 747–770. https://doi.org/10.1177/0018726700536001
Desrochers, S., & Cooper, M. (2021). Boundary theory and work-family border theory research: A focus on boundary enactment. Work and Family Encyclopedia, Work and Family Researchers Network.
Mazmanian, M., Orlikowski, W. J., & Yates, J. (2013). The autonomy paradox: The implications of mobile email devices for knowledge professionals. Organization Science, 24(5), 1337–1357. https://doi.org/10.1287/orsc.1120.0806
ter Hoeven, C. L., van Zoonen, W., & Fonner, K. L. (2016). The practical paradox of technology: The influence of communication technology use on employee burnout and engagement. Communication Monographs, 83(2), 239–263. https://doi.org/10.1080/03637751.2015.1133920
Valcour, P. M., & Hunter, L. W. (2008). Technology, organizations, and work-life integration. In E. E. Kossek & S. J. Lambert (Eds), Work and life integration: Organizational, cultural, and individual perspectives (pp. 61–84). Lawrence Erlbaum.
At Roamers Therapy, our psychotherapists are here to support you through anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship issues, race-ethnicity issues, LGBTQIA+ issues, ADHD, Autism, or any challenges you encounter. Our psychotherapists are trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Acceptance, and Commitment Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, and Gottman Therapy.
Whether you’re seeking guidance on a specific issue or need help navigating difficult emotions, we’re ready to assist you every step of the way.
Contact us today to learn more about our services and schedule a session with our mental health professionals to begin your healing journey. To get started with therapy, visit our booking page.
First, decide if you’ll be paying out-of-pocket or using insurance. If you’re a self-pay client, you can book directly through the “Book Now” page or fill out the “Self-Pay/Out-of-network Inquiry Form.” If you’re using insurance, fill out the “Insurance Verification Form” to receive details about your costs and availability. Please let us know your preferred therapist. If your preferred therapist isn’t available, you can join the waitlist by emailing us. Once your appointment is confirmed, you’ll receive intake documents to complete before your first session.
This page is also part of the Roamers Therapy Glossary; a collection of mental-health related definitions that are written by our therapists.
While our offices are currently located at the South Loop neighborhood of Downtown Chicago, Illinois, we also welcome and serve clients for online therapy from anywhere in Illinois and Washington, D.C. Clients from the Chicagoland area may choose in-office or online therapy and usually commute from surrounding areas such as River North, West Loop, Gold Coast, Old Town, Lincoln Park, Lake View, Rogers Park, Logan Square, Pilsen, Bridgeport, Little Village, Bronzeville, South Shore, Hyde Park, Back of the Yards, Wicker Park, Bucktown and many more. You can visit our contact page to access detailed information on our office location.