How do defense mechanisms help us cope with reality?
Sometimes reality becomes too overwhelming to accept as it is. To cope with this, we develop various ways to handle the painful, confusing, or intolerable aspects of reality. We do this by either avoiding or denying situations that could shake our beliefs about ourselves and the world, or by distorting them into more acceptable forms in our minds. We call these protective strategies we develop to cope with reality “defense mechanisms.” Defense mechanisms generally operate unconsciously and automatically, so we may not even be aware of engaging them. Although the word “defense” may sound negative, defense mechanisms aren’t problematic in and of themselves. They’re actually strategies we all develop as we grow up and rely on throughout life. However, defense mechanisms can sometimes become rigid and overused. When this happens, it can lead to other psychological, relational, or social issues. In this therapy sketch, we’ll explore the common defense mechanisms outlined in previous research.
What are defense mechanisms?
Defense mechanisms are responses we all develop as we grow up to cope with stressful situations and intense emotions. They are the things we do to replace or cope with unpleasant or unbearable reality and the associated emotions. Defense mechanisms are responses we all exhibit, and they are not problematic in and of themselves. For example, when dealing with work or school stress, we might avoid reality by daydreaming, project our unwanted feelings onto others, or express intense emotions we can’t express through our bodies, such as stomachaches when we feel too anxious.
Although defense mechanisms help us survive emotionally challenging experiences, when we become overly reliant on them or overgeneralize them to every situation we face, they cease to be adaptive and can instead become limiting, potentially leading to other problems.
Defense mechanisms were first conceptualized long ago and have evolved over time to reach the present day. They are based on Sigmund Freud’s work and remain among the foundational concepts underpinning modern psychoanalytic and psychodynamic therapy. Numerous systematic studies have demonstrated that defense mechanisms develop in time and are particularly used under stress, helping us cope with negative emotions (Cramer, 2015). Defense mechanisms also align well with current neuroscientific understanding that unconscious or implicit processes influence many of our behaviors, emotions, and thoughts without our voluntary action. One of the most comprehensive reviews of defense mechanisms is provided by Nancy McWilliams (e.g., 2011). According to McWilliams, defense mechanisms can be grouped into two categories: primary and secondary, where primary defenses are more primitive ways of coping that strongly distort or reshape reality, while secondary defenses are usually more developed and reality-based, helping us manage emotions with less distortion.
Primary Defenses
Extreme Withdrawal:
Happens when we retreat and disengage to cope with reality and the uncomfortable feelings it brings. We may avoid engaging with life, become indifferent to people and activities, use substances to alter our consciousness, or prefer to stay in our minds rather than face the external world. When balanced, it can create space to be with ourselves and support creativity. When overused, it can reduce our ability to tolerate reality and harm our relationships by keeping us disengaged.
Denial
Happens when we deny what’s happening to cope with reality and associated feelings. We may deny situations that would otherwise hurt us, such as when we first hear sad news, or insist everything will be fine. In some moments, like crises, denial can help us focus on action. But when overused, it can prevent change and problem-solving, since these require acknowledging reality as it is.
Omnipotent Control
Happens when we act as if we have total control over ourselves, others, and our surroundings to manage reality and its emotional impact. A sense of control is normal, but when overused, we may become intolerant of uncertainty, micromanage situations, and ignore others’ boundaries and agency.
Extreme Idealization and Devaluation
Happens when we perceive others as either valuable and perfect or worthless. Instead of accepting that people can have both positive and negative qualities, we place them in extreme categories. This may help us handle emotional complexity in the moment, but it can create unstable relationship patterns.
Projection
Happens when we attribute our own uncomfortable thoughts or feelings to someone else to cope with them. We may see that the other person is angry, judgmental, or hostile when those feelings are actually in us. This can sometimes indirectly help us become aware of what we feel and release those emotions. But when it operates dysfunctionally, it can lead us to misunderstand others and cause conflict or mistrust in relationships.
Introjection
Happens when we internalize what we observe in others as our own. We may internalize values from people we admire or criticisms from people who hurt us. On an adaptive level, this can help us learn from others. But when it operates dysfunctionally, it can create a harsh inner critic.
Projective identification
Happens when we project feelings onto someone else and, in subtle ways, actually lead others to feel or act in line with what we have projected eventhough that has not what they have been feeling or doing. For example, if we act as if our partner is uncomfortable with something we are doing, they may begin to feel or show discomfort in response, even though that’s not how they felt originally. This can sometimes help others understand what we’re going through. But when it operates dysfunctionally, it leads to confusing, controlling, or emotionally intense interactions.
Splitting
Happens when we see and treat things in binary categories, as good or bad. On an adaptive level, this can help us deal with the complexity and uncertainty in real life. But when it operates dysfunctionally, it can make things rigid for us. For example, it may lead us to believe that only some groups are good and others are bad, or if we believe someone is wrong, we may see them as entirely bad and ourselves as entirely good, even though everything and everyone can have both positive and negative aspects.
Somatization
Happens when we cannot experience our emotions, and they are rather expressed as “physical symptoms” to be released. For example, we may experience pain or fatigue without a clear medical reason. On an adaptive level, this can help us understand that something in our life may not be right and may need our attention. But when it operates dysfunctionally, it can lead to chronic physical complaints and prevent us from actually addressing the underlying emotions.
Acting out
Happens when we express our intense emotions through actions instead of thinking about them or expressing them verbally. This can help us release tension in the moment. Still, when it operates dysfunctionally, it can also lead to harmful behaviors and even hurting others, and actually prevent us from addressing our problems.
Instinctualization
S-xualization, which can also be counted as a form of acting out, happens when we unknowingly channel our unbearable feelings into s-xual feelings. Leaning on this as a coping mechanism can lead us s-xualize situations to feel more in control or less afraid. But when it operates dysfunctionally, it can put us into risky situations and can interrupt our sense of intimacy.
Extreme dissociation
Happens when we cope with our overwhelming reality by completely detaching from it. We may feel like we are in a dream, or that our life is not real. On an adaptive level, this may protect us in moments of trauma or extreme distress. But when it persists, it can leave us feeling numb, making it hard to go through our daily lives.
Secondary Defenses
Repression
Happens when we can’t recall particularly unbearable thoughts or memories, instead of processing and integrating them. This can even look like not remembering certain things at all, such as events from our childhood. While this can help us function without being overwhelmed by those memories, they can also interrupt our sense of self and can prevent us from feeling more fully.
Regression
Happens when we return to earlier developmental ways of behaving to cope with what we are going through. This can look like seeking comfort, dependency, or familiarity. We can find this type of coping to be soothing in difficult moments. But in extreme cases, it can turn into avoiding responsibilities and accountability, maintaining problems in the present.
Isolation of affect
Happens when we detach emotions from our thoughts or events to cope. This can look like talking about something painful while simultaneously not feeling the associated unpleasant feelings. On an adaptive level, this can help us stay clear-headed in crises and act quickly. But when we overgeneralize this defense, it can lead to emotional detachment.
Intellectualization, Rationalization, and Moralization
Happens when we use thinking, explanations, or moral reasoning to avoid uncomfortable feelings. We may intellectualize by analyzing instead of feeling, rationalize by justifying our behavior, or moralize by turning conflicts into right and wrong. These can help with stability and meaning, but when overused, they block emotional processing, honesty, and flexibility.
In her work, McWilliams also notes other secondary defense mechanisms we engage in to cope with reality. For example, we may tend to experience different parts of our life or self as separate from each other as a result of stress or trauma (compartmentalization). At times, we might also indulge in ways to reverse or “cancel out” certain thoughts or actions to get relief from feelings like guilt (undoing), or direct negative feelings toward ourselves instead of others (turning against the self). Conversely, we can also try to redirect emotions from a threatening target to a safer one, such as when we feel angry at someone but take it out elsewhere (displacement), or try to turn unacceptable feelings into their opposite, such as when we feel anger but act overly kind instead as a way to cope (reaction formation). We may also experience extreme role-switching to cope with unpleasant feelings, such as when we go from being passive to taking complete control in a situation. In other cases, we may channel difficult impulses into constructive activities, such as pouring our emotions into meaningful creative work (sublimation) or using humor to lighten our discomfort.
Defense mechanisms are the ways we all use to cope with stressful situations. They aren’t problematic in and of themselves, nor are they aspects of ourselves that need to be eliminated. However, over time, they can become ill-suited to our circumstances, overly generalized, rigid, and limiting. Or, some defense mechanisms that kept us going as we grew up may no longer make us feel good, and we may feel the need to develop more developed, more flexible defense mechanisms. In such moments, therapy can be particularly helpful in helping us recognize these automatic processes, understand how and where we use them, and clarify our core preferences and desires regarding them.
Takeaways
- Defense mechanisms are responses we all use to cope with stressful situations and intense emotions. They are not problematic in and of themselves, but can become rigid, overly generalized, or limiting over time.
- Defense mechanisms are typically grouped into primary and secondary defenses, where primary defenses are more primitive and distort reality more, while secondary defenses are more reality-based and sometimes more flexible ways of managing unbearable reality and emotions.
- Therapy can help us recognize these automatic processes, understand how and where we use them, and support us in developing more flexible and adaptive coping strategies that fit our current life and needs.
References
Cramer, P. (2015). Defense mechanisms: 40 years of empirical research. Journal of Personality Assessment, 97(2), 114–122. https://doi.org/10.1080/00223891.2014.947997
McWilliams, N. (2011). Psychoanalytic diagnosis: Understanding personality structure in the clinical process (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.
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