How Can You Support Loved Ones Through Addiction?

Addiction today is not characterized by drug or alcohol addiction. Contemporary diagnostic systems have revealed that maladaptive behaviors that activate the same reward-learning circuits as drugs can also meet the criteria for ‘’addictive disorder.’’ Gambling disorder (APA, 2022) and gaming disorder (ICD-11, WHO, 2019) are fully codified; robust evidence now supports similar outcomes for binge eating disorder, compulsive shopping, and problematic internet use (Kraus et al., 2024; Brand et. al., 2024). Indeed, the global prevalence of any substance or behavioral addiction is estimated to be 12–18% among adults (Zhang et. al., 2024). Despite the high prevalence rates, seeking help is seen more as an exception than the rule. At this point, it is possible to say that family and close friends play a significant role in recognizing the problem, increasing motivation for treatment, and sustaining recovery. 

Addiction is a multidimensional problem that deeply affects not only the individual but also those around them. The cyclical crisis experienced by the addicted individual can turn into a complex experience for family members and friends, filled with feelings of helplessness, guilt, and exhaustion. For this reason, it is crucial for the individual’s close circle to be equipped with accurate information, aware of their boundaries, and adopt a supportive approach, as this constitutes a significant part of both individual and relational recovery. In this mini sketch, we will explain how you can support a loved one with addiction through an empathetic and sensitive approach, and present various intervention methods in this context.

What Should You Consider When Helping a Loved One With Addiction?

Empathy Matters: Empathy is a crucial component when you are trying to help a loved one struggling with addiction. Addiction has severe aftershocks that damage one’s body, finances, relationships, perception of self, behavior, and more. Addiction can have many different forms, from substances, gambling, spending habits, food, etc. The stigmatization of addiction can challenge a loved one to be honest about their addiction and even to get help for overcoming it. Empathy holds power in that it establishes hope, mends broken relationships, increases communication levels, and reduces apathy.  When trying to find the best course of action for a loved one battling addiction, there are some tips to consider that promote a journey to recovery. Not being aware of how you might be enabling a loved one could be to both your and their detriment. 

Addiction Can Happen to Anyone: A common misconception about addiction is that it is less likely to impact someone with a career or family. You don’t only have to be struggling to be at risk of becoming an addict. Just as addiction has a variety of faces like substances, food, shopping, etc, it can also manifest in many ways and can be seen as a slippery slope. It can be onset from trauma, grief, stress, family history of addiction, peer pressure, low self-esteem, and heedlessness.

Addiction Is Not a Choice: Another misconception is that people want to become addicts whe,n in truth, the ability to forgo substance use is superseded by the brain’s rewiring of “need” when it comes to substances. Removing the narrative that addiction is a choice can be beneficial. 

Get Help Early: Furthermore, the belief that treatment is only beneficial when one has hit “rock bottom” is a myth. Treatment should be discussed when your loved one finds themselves using irresponsibly and/or dangerously. Irresponsibly using can look like partaking in more than the advised amount of substances/prescriptions from a healthcare professional, a trend of dependency or inability to stop using when substances are not needed, and diminished recognition on how their substance use is having a negative effect in their behavior and interpersonal relationships. 

All Types of Addiction Are Serious: Lastly, addiction is addiction regardless of the method individuals use. There is no hierarchy when it comes to addiction, be it drugs in the form of prescriptions, alcohol, street drugs, gambling, sex, spending habits, food, social media, and video games. Remember that there is no poster child for addiction and the consequences can be harmful in any approach a loved one may find themselves in.

How Can You Be There for a Loved One Living with Addiction?

Ask yourself: how will your actions continue to enable your loved one who battles addiction? Will my actions prevent the consequences that may motivate a loved one to seek treatment or put me in harm’s way? Whether you or a loved one are struggling with addiction, it would be beneficial to be proactive in seeking out therapeutic services to provide help with overcoming addiction that may consume one’s life.  Here is a list of ways to help a loved one struggling with addiction:

1. Offer Help to Get Them Into Treatment: When bringing the idea of treatment options to a loved one, it is important not to give ultimatums. Do research in your area and find options for your loved one to choose from. This gives your loved one a sense of power and hope that dismantles the idea that they are being forced. A big component in the success of treatment is the desire and hope to battle addiction coming from the individual undergoing rehab. 
2. Show up in ways that truly help: When someone you care about is in pain, the instinct is to fix it. You might try to offer comfort, a solution, or something that feels like relief in the moment. But not all forms of help are truly helpful. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is offer support that doesn’t feed the cycle they’re trying to break. That might mean helping with groceries or finding a place to stay, rather than offering what might quietly pull them deeper. Showing up for a loved one doesn’t always mean saying yes. It means choosing what kind of yes truly leads to healing. 
3. Recognize that the Loved One is not the Same Person as Before Addiction: Addiction, whether it involves substances or behaviors, can change the way the brain works. It alters the reward system until the addictive pattern starts to feel as necessary as food or water. When that happens, your loved one might act in ways that seem unfamiliar, such as keeping secrets, breaking promises, or prioritizing the addiction over relationships. While these behaviors can hurt deeply, they’re also part of the illness, not a reflection of who they truly are. Recognizing this difference can help you hold compassion for the person you care about while also setting boundaries that protect your well-being. 
4. Attend Al-Anon or Nar-Anon Meeting: Developing a sense of community around individuals with similar struggles can be seen as a positive. Building a supportive network will be beneficial for your emotional health as well as learning more about how to support your loved one. 

In addition to these practical boundaries and steps, there are other fundamental ways to approach your loved one with compassion, knowledge, and a long-term perspective. Supporting a loved one with addiction is not just about what you need to do; it also involves how to do what you need to do effectively and what not to do. The APA (2024) lists the following additional recommendations and warnings to consider as you navigate this challenging but meaningful role:

Effective Approaches to Take:

• You can learn everything you can about your loved one’s addiction.
• You can communicate openly and honestly with your loved one, expressing your concerns about the current problems and clearly stating your support for helping them and finding a solution together. It is important for the individual to know that you are ready to take steps with them.
• By openly showing your love and concern, you should avoid insults that could cause the individual to withdraw.
• Keeping in mind that recovery is an ongoing process, you should continue to be actively involved in the process while your friend or family member is undergoing treatment. This will show them that you value them and are there for them whenever they need you.

Common Pitfalls to Avoid:

• You should avoid lectures, threats, bribes, and emotional appeals that could increase the individual’s shame and lead to isolation or coercion into drug use.
• Open and honest communication is vital in ensuring that individuals with substance use disorders receive the help they deserve.
• Try not to feel guilty about their behavior; individuals with substance use disorders are suffering from an illness, and like other illnesses, it is not caused by a single person or action.
• Using alcohol, drugs, etc., with someone who has a substance use disorder not only negatively affects their recovery process but also puts your physical, emotional, and psychological health at risk. Such enabling behaviors can reinforce the cycle of addiction and prevent the establishment of healthy boundaries.

Takeaways:

• Addiction is seen as a multidimensional problem that deeply affects not only the individual but also those around them.
• Despite the fact that addiction rates are rising worldwide, the rate of seeking help remains low.
• The immediate circle of individuals with addiction plays an essential role in recognizing addiction, increasing the individual’s motivation for treatment, and sustaining recovery.
• Providing a compassionate, inclusive, and supportive approach to individuals with addiction is of critical importance.
• Since recovery is an ongoing process, the individual’s loved ones should continue to be actively involved in the process throughout the recovery period.

References

1. American Psychiatric Association (APA) (2024). What Is a Substance Use Disorder? https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/addiction-substance-use-disorders/what-is-a-substance-use-disorder 
2. American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders.
3. World Health Organization. (2019). ICD‑11—Gaming disorder.
4. Kraus SW, Krueger RB, Briken P, First MB, Stein DJ, Kaplan MS, Voon V, Abdo CHN, Grant JE, Atalla E, Reed GM. Compulsive sexual behaviour disorder in the ICD-11. World Psychiatry. 2018 Feb;17(1):109-110. doi: 10.1002/wps.20499. PMID: 29352554; PMCID: PMC5775124. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5775124/ 
5. Brand, M., Antons, S., Bőthe, B., Demetrovics, Z., Fineberg, N. A., Jimenez-Murcia, S., King, D. L., Mestre-Bach, G., Moretta, T., Müller, A., Wegmann, E., & Potenza, M. N. (2024). Current advances in behavioral addictions: From fundamental research to clinical practice. American Journal of Psychiatry, 182(2), 155–163. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.20240092
6. Zhang, S., Qi, X., Wang, Y., & Fang, K. (2024). Global burden of drug use disorders by region and country, 1990–2021. Frontiers in Public Health, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2024.1470809 

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