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Life’s challenges can be overwhelming; everyone deserves a space to feel heard and supported. At Roamers Therapy, we provide trauma-informed, culturally sensitive, LGBTQIA+ affirming, and evidence-based environments to help you heal, grow, and navigate your mental well-being journey. As your psychotherapist,  we are here to guide you every step of the way.

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We often hear the phrase, “Everyone feels sad from time to time.” We often hear that when trying to find solace. Although we understand that, it doesn’t take away the sensation of sadness that can be experienced as deep and painful. We get tiny signals of sadness in our bodies when it feels heavier; tears stream down our faces. Feelings of sadness may accompany other overwhelming emotions of grief, injustice, rage, deep emptiness, and longing. The word “sadness” comes from the Latin “satis,” meaning satiation or fullness. As its origin suggests, feeling sadness can create a heavy sense of fullness in the body and mind. People may find themselves drained of energy, stuck in repetitive thoughts, and struggling to cope with their feelings. Sadness is one of the basic universal human emotions that can be unpleasant or uncomfortable. However, feeling sad occasionally is part of a healthy emotional life. Sadness is a common emotion in moments of disappointment or loss. For example, you may feel sad when the social plans you were looking forward to are canceled or when you lose a valuable item. Sadness also tends to arise in response to rejection, the end of a valued relationship, or the loss of a loved one. As we all experience, sadness persists but diminishes over time. But what if the sadness lasts for a long time? In this therapy sketch, we discuss feeling sadness, its effect when it lasts longer, and how to deal with it.

Why We Feel Sad?

Different events can trigger sadness. We can be sad after a personal loss, disappointment, or even a sense of failure. Relationship problems, economic difficulties, problems at work, sleep disorders, school life and exams, health problems, country and world problems, unfulfilled personal wishes and desires, failure to achieve one’s ideals, and many other reasons can cause sadness. However, we can say that sadness is connected to how we interpret events in our lives. According to Lazarus (1991), sadness emerges when we perceive a situation as a significant loss that can’t easily be fixed. For example, a layoff can be perceived as something terrible to one person, and another might perceive it as an opportunity to find new occupations. The difference between these two perspectives might be the cause of sadness.

Additionally, like every other emotion, sadness has a function. The functions of sadness:

  • Emotional Health: Sadness plays a vital role in our emotional health. Eventhough we try to avoid it, sadness encourages introspection and helps us process difficult situations, allowing us to move forward with greater emotional strength.
  • Social Purpose: Additionally, it also serves a strong social purpose. By expressing sadness, we may signal to others that we need support, strengthening social bonds (Keltner & Gross, 1999).

What Happens in Our Body When We Feel Sad?

Neuroanatomically, sadness causes changes in several mechanisms in the brain. When we feel sad, the mechanism that manages stress and emotions is the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, which gets activated. When it is out of balance, it can contribute to prolonged feelings of sadness and even depression (Joëls & Baram, 2009).

Another important factor is serotonin, a neurotransmitter known for its role in mood regulation. Research shows that low levels of serotonin are typical in people experiencing long-term sadness or depression (Cowen, 2008). Although decreased serotonin levels and changes in the HPA axis may be a shared characteristic, this condition cannot be equated with depression. The feeling of intense sadness takes no more than two weeks. If it persists, it may be a symptom of depression, which is a more serious condition that usually requires professional help.

Difference Between Being Sad and Depressed

Sometimes, sadness can be confused with depression. The fact that many people use the word “depressed” when they feel sad from time to time may be the cause of this confusion. This may be because sadness can last for quite a long time. In a study conducted in Belgium with 233 young adults, it was found that sadness is an emotion that lasts much longer than other emotions (including shame, surprise, fear, disgust, and guilt) (Verduyn et al., 2014). The long duration may be one reason why this emotion is often confused with depression. A person may also have a lower mood due to prolonged sadness.  However, this does not always mean depression. No matter how intense, the feeling of sadness does not last for more than two weeks. Depression should be suspected if this state of sadness is prolonged for more than two weeks constantly, negatively affects the person’s life, disrupts the person’s professional and social life, and disrupts interpersonal relationships (APA, 2013).

To make a clear distinction between sadness and depression, let’s continue with the example of two people who have experienced the same negative event. Very roughly and in general terms, the differences between what a sad person and a depressed person might experience are as follows:

  • Both depressed and sad people feel intense low moods. In both cases, there may be a lack of energy, fatigue, change of eating routine, and sleep disturbances. However, in depression, this low mood is constant and long-lasting, whereas in sadness, it fluctuates. The person who is sad about being laid off can enjoy most of their day. On the other hand, the person who shows depressive symptoms might find it hard to get out of bed. 
  • The depressed person feels isolated and lonely, whereas the sad person can connect closely with others. The person who is sad about being laid off can look for support from loved ones. On the other hand, the person who shows depressive symptoms can isolate themselves even more.
  • The person who shows depressive symptoms thinks that their mood will always be like this and will never change and loses hope; the person who is sad about this negative event knows that there will be new opportunities in the future and keeps hopeful about it.
  • The depressed person might think they have made irreparable mistakes, and they might have extreme self-deprecation, which can reach the point of self-hatred and self-disgust, and they might start not enjoying activities they used to love. The sad person can remember happy moments from the past, enjoy themselves, have a good time and appreciate themselves.

As outlined above, depression is a severe mental health issue and should be addressed by a mental health professional. 

What to Do When We Feel Sad?

  • Acknowledge your feelings: Eventhough you try to avoid it, sadness is not something you can prevent but overcome. Once you feel sad, it’s best to acknowledge it and create space to process your feelings before taking any action. You can utilize self-care routines or whatever works for you. This might be crying, taking a shower, or listening to music. 
  • Engaging Self-care Routines without Utilizing Unhealthy Coping Strategies: We usually develop some coping strategies to overcome adverse life events or difficult emotions. All of our coping strategies have a function in our lives, eventhough some might be maladaptive. Unhealthy coping strategies refer to this maladaptive strategy that can provide short-term relief but create more damage in the long term.  Since sadness has a significant negative value in our lives, we usually employ some coping strategies to address it. These strategies can be unhealthy as well as healthy. For example, denying sadness in the first place, blaming yourself for it, or utilizing habits like excessive shopping, eating, or drinking are some of the common unhealthy coping strategies. Utilizing healthy coping skills instead of unhealthy ones can help you function through the sadness. These healthy coping skills can be writing/blogging, talking with loved ones, and engaging in hobbies that bring you joy can assist you in overcoming sadness.
  • Physical Activities: During exercise, the body releases hormones such as endorphins and serotonin. As mentioned, these hormones are at a lower level during feelings of sadness. Increased serotonin and endorphins with exercise reduce sadness and stress (Blumenthal et al., 2007). This does not mean implementing a long-term exercise regimen directly into your life. However, simple exercises like short walks will also help you reduce the intensity of sadness by releasing hormones like serotonin and endorphins.
  • Social Support: Emotions shared with friends, family members, or loved ones can make a person feel that they are not alone. This kind of support increases psychological resilience and reduces the impact of negative emotions (Cohen & Wills, 1985). Talking about the situation with someone you can rely on or doing activities you like with your friends can make you feel not alone and supported. Even spending quality time with your pet (if you have one) will help you shift your negative emotions to more positive ones. 

How Can Therapy Help?

Eventhough you utilize all the items above on your own, sometimes sadness prolongs and affects the daily functionality. Furthermore, it can be a symptom of depression. Regarding that point, therapy can help you learn more healthy coping skills and techniques to overcome sadness. 

  • Mindfulness Techniques: Mindfulness meditation focuses the mind on the present moment, making it easier to recognize and accept negative emotions such as sadness. Living in the moment with an accepting attitude can reduce the impact of negative emotions (Kabat-Zinn, 1990). 
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Techniques: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) provides a way to reshape one’s thoughts and behaviors to manage sadness. This therapy method helps people recognize negative thoughts and develop a more positive and constructive perspective. Techniques like gratitude journaling and pleasure scheduling might help you manage your sadness.
  • Pleasure scheduling: Pleasure scheduling is an evidence-based behavioral strategy that aims to alleviate periods of low mood by incorporating small and big moments of joy throughout your daily routine. It helps manage intense sadness and depression because it encourages identifying and scheduling activities you currently enjoy or that were once enjoyable. For example, you can set a self-care routine before bed to watch a TV series you like or read a book. By intentionally incorporating small behavioral changes like the example and engaging in activities that bring you happiness, mood and energy levels positively shift as you rekindle your interests.
  • Gratitude journaling: Gratitude journaling is a practice that involves regularly writing down things you are thankful for. This can help shift your focus from negative experiences to positive aspects of your life, promoting your mood. Research shows that gratitude helps people focus on more positive emotions. (Emmons and McCullough, 2013)

Takeaways

Sadness is a universal emotion after a disappointment, loss, or adverse life event. Even though it is a feeling we avoid, it serves us by providing more profound emotional strength and strengthening social bonds. We can manage our sadness by acknowledging it or incorporating physical activities or social support into our lives. We can also practice mindfulness or cognitive behavioral techniques like pleasure scheduling or gratitude journaling. However, not every sadness can be counted as a depression. If you feel intense sadness for more than two weeks constantly, it might be beneficial to advise a mental health professional. 

References:

  • American Psychological Association (APA). (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing.
  • Blumenthal, J. A., Babyak, M. A., Doraiswamy, P. M., et al. (2007). Exercise and pharmacotherapy in the treatment of major depressive disorder. Psychosomatic Medicine, 69(7), 587-596. https://doi.org/10.1097/PSY.0b013e318148c1a6
  • Cohen, S., & Wills, T. A. (1985). Stress, social support, and the buffering hypothesis. Psychological Bulletin, 98(2), 310-357. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.98.2.310
  • Cowen, P. J. (2008). Serotonin and the regulation of mood. Journal of Psychopharmacology, 22(4), 455-463. https://doi.org/10.1177/0269881108092803
  • https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2555
  • Joëls, M., & Baram, T. Z. (2009). The neuro-symphony of stress. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 459-466. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2630
  • Keltner, D., & Gross, J. J. (1999). Functional accounts of emotions. In T. J. Oatley & J. M. Jenkins (Eds.), Understanding emotions (pp. 571-594). Wiley.
  • Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. New York: Delacorte Press.
  • Lazarus, R. S. (1991). Emotion and adaptation. Oxford University Press.
  • Verduyn, P., Delvaux, E., Van Mechelen, I., et al. (2014). The duration of emotions in daily life. Emotion, 14(5), 886-895. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000016
  • Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.

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At Roamers Therapy, our psychotherapists are here to support you through anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship issues, race-ethnicity issues, LGBTQIA+ issues, ADHD, Autism, or any challenges you encounter. Our psychotherapists are trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Acceptance, and Commitment Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, and Gottman Therapy. 

Whether you’re seeking guidance on a specific issue or need help navigating difficult emotions, we’re ready to assist you every step of the way.

Contact us today to learn more about our services and schedule a session with our mental health professionals to begin your healing journey. To get started with therapy, visit our booking page.

First, decide if you’ll be paying out-of-pocket or using insurance. If you’re a self-pay client, you can book directly through the “Book Now” page or fill out the “Self-Pay/Out-of-network Inquiry Form.” If you’re using insurance, fill out the “Insurance Verification Form” to receive details about your costs and availability. Please let us know your preferred therapist. If your preferred therapist isn’t available, you can join the waitlist by emailing us. Once your appointment is confirmed, you’ll receive intake documents to complete before your first session.

This page is also part of the Roamers Therapy Glossary; a collection of mental-health related definitions that are written by our therapists.

While our offices are currently located at the South Loop neighborhood of Downtown Chicago, Illinois, we also welcome and serve clients for online therapy from anywhere in Illinois and Washington, D.C. Clients from the Chicagoland area may choose in-office or online therapy and usually commute from surrounding areas such as River North, West Loop, Gold Coast, Old Town, Lincoln Park, Lake View, Rogers Park, Logan Square, Pilsen, Bridgeport, Little Village, Bronzeville, South Shore, Hyde Park, Back of the Yards, Wicker Park, Bucktown and many more. You can visit our contact page to access detailed information on our office location.