Finding Joy: How to Build a Lasting Happiness

Life’s challenges can be overwhelming; everyone deserves a space to feel heard and supported. At Roamers Therapy, we provide trauma-informed, culturally sensitive, LGBTQIA+ affirming, and evidence-based environments to help you heal, grow, and navigate your mental well-being journey. As your psychotherapist, we are here to guide you every step of the way.

Find a Specialist!

Happiness is a positive emotional state characterized by feelings of joy and life satisfaction. It is one of humans’ primary and universal emotions, alongside anger, fear, contempt, disgust, sadness, and surprise. Happiness has significantly positive value among the other primary emotions since it arises from well-being, contentment, and satisfaction. Nevertheless, happiness has no operational definition. It is generally defined as a combination of having positive emotions in the short term and implies overall well-being in the long term. As you notice, we divide happiness into short-term or long-term because when people talk about being happy, they mean either how they feel at the time or how they feel about their life as a whole. Ed Diener explains that happiness can be seen as both a short-term feeling that changes with situations and a long-term characteristic that shows a person’s general well-being (Diener & Lucas, 1999). Let’s take a look closely at how the definition changes over time:

State happiness: This kind of happiness arises from immediate sensory pleasures or positive experiences. For example, having a delicious meal or receiving a compliment from your colleague can make you feel happy at the moment. These moments of happiness boost your mood quickly; however, they are more related to external circumstances. For example, the joy you might feel when you enjoy your meal will probably fade as soon as you start to get hungry, or criticism from another colleague might impact the joy you feel from the compliment.

Trait happiness: Conversely, long-term happiness is more rooted in subjective well-being and life satisfaction. It is defined as the sum of fulfilling relationships, a sense of purpose, and overall life balance. For example, getting a job that you have always dreamed of and having a good work-life balance where you are able to spend quality time with loved ones provides trait happiness. While state happiness enhances our day through positive experiences or stimuli, long-term happiness is built over time with consistent effort.

What happens in our brains when we get happy?

When we feel happy about something —like buying a long-awaited item, getting your dream job, or reconnecting with an old friend— our brain and nervous system get through some changes. These changes happen in our brain’s reward system and release of neurotransmitters. Here is a brief review of these changes:

Reward system activation: Happiness triggers brain activity in the prefrontal cortex and subcortical limbic structures like the amygdala, insula, ventral striatum, and anterior cingulate cortices. Activation in these brain regions motivates us and enhances feelings of pleasure and enjoyment, according to a review by Berridge and Kringelbach (2015).
Release of neurotransmitters: Our brain releases neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin when we feel happy. These neurotransmitters are critical in boosting pleasure and regulating mood (Burgdorf and Panksepp, 2006). Each neurotransmitter has a different function in happiness; for example, dopamine heightens the sense of joy, and serotonin helps stabilize mood.
Stress reduction: Besides releasing dopamine and serotonin, happiness triggers other changes that help reduce stress. For instance, when we feel happy, the hormone linked to stress, cortisol, decreases, and natural pain killers, endorphins, increase. Saxena and Ma (2020) noted that this change promotes relaxation and well-being.

Contributors of Happiness

Happiness varies from person to person because, as we mentioned above, its definition changes. However, when we think about whether we are happy or not, we evaluate some factors. Diener and Chan (2011) comprehensively analyzed how various elements—such as mood, physical health, mental well-being, social connections, financial stability, and overall life satisfaction—influence our happiness. Here is a quick summary of their findings:

External/Present factors: You may have noticed that external factors, like missing a bus or being late for work, have a quick effect on our mood. Your response to the question “Are you happy?” may vary depending on whether you had a good or bad experience prior to responding.
Health-related factors: Maintaining physical well-being and having a schedule that suits your body contribute to overall well-being. For instance, having a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep are all part of this since they may improve your mood.
Psychological Factors: Having mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety disorders might impact your mood profoundly. Even with the absence of mental disorders, some psychological factors, such as self-acceptance, personal growth, having control over your decisions, and coping mechanisms that work during stressful times, are associated with feelings of joy, satisfaction, and happiness.
Interpersonal Relationships: Humans are social beings; therefore, interpersonal relations are essential to our overall well-being. Having meaningful relationships that include depth and positivity and having social support when needed enhances our mood.
Economic Stability: Eventhough money is not a core parameter of happiness, having financial stability and the ability to meet basic needs contributes to happiness significantly.
Life Satisfaction: Life satisfaction reflects a sense of fulfillment about the overall aspects of life. Achieving personal goals, having good-quality relationships, balancing work and social life, and having a positive point of view about those aspects influence feelings of happiness, especially in the long term.

How to build a lasting happiness?

Since there are too many elements to consider to make us happy, the main question is how to develop a happiness mindset. When pondering your happiness, think of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. These tips are essential for creating a happy mindset. Here are some tips to build a happiness mindset:

Use Affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that people tell themselves, such as “I am worthy of happiness.” How affirmations can do that? Repeating affirmations assists you in replacing negative self-talk with more positive thoughts. Replacing negative self-talk helps change how you view yourself and your life, gradually leading to a more positive point of view. Research supports the effectiveness of this approach, showing that affirmations can boost self-esteem and overall well-being by reinforcing a positive self-image and reducing stress (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

Express gratitude daily. Expressing gratitude could be engaging in positive self-talk on the things, small or big, that you are grateful for, such as your health, friendships, family, partner, career, and personal growth. Recognizing each day as a gift and opportunity will allow you to be more receptive to expressing gratitude daily. It can be through verbal affirmations, writing exercises, acts of service to others and oneself, and meditation on being content/appreciative of where you are.

As cliché as it sounds, studies have shown that there is a scientific basis for using gratitude to develop, especially trait happiness. Emmons and McCullough (2013) explored how focusing on gratitude affects our well-being. They asked participants to either jot down things they were grateful for each week or to note daily hassles and difficulties. The results showed that those who focused on gratitude felt more positive emotions and were generally more satisfied with their lives than those who focused on their challenges.

If you are not used to practicing this, you may find it difficult to find at first glance what you feel grateful for on a daily basis. For this purpose, you can use a technique like gratitude journaling. This technique will help you stop and think about what you are grateful for and make it easier to find it later. According to a handout published by APA in 2017, you can take a few steps for gratitude journaling:

First, determine your availability for journaling daily and how many minutes you are willing to spend journaling.
Then, choose your preferred format. You can use Notepad, tablets, or different apps to journal. However, make sure that your notes are in a written and stored format.
You can reference anything for which you are grateful. It does not matter how big or small; note everything down with details such as persons, events, or things related to that.
It may be necessary to date your note. This way, each time you re-read your note, you will be reminded of your positive feelings about that day.

Lay on internal variables, not external ones. What makes you feel the most joy? It can be doing charitable work, creating artwork, traveling, learning new things, your family, etc. Reflecting on people, places, and experiences that bring you joy can be a guide or tool to help you stay on course to a happy mindset. Starting with your core values can be a great way to connect to things that make you happy. If you love to cook, consider taking a cooking class, trying a new recipe, buying new kitchen appliances, or having fun making dishes that positively affect your mood. Take what is already there and build a list that can reinforce your sense of self and values, which can be correlated to your tailored happiness.

In a similar manner, Sheldon and Lyubomirsky (2007) suggest that true, lasting happiness often comes from adjusting our behaviors rather than changing external factors. Their research highlights that engaging in positive activities we enjoy—like setting personal goals and practicing gratitude—can have a more lasting effect on our happiness than simply acquiring new possessions or relocating. They emphasize the importance of regularly participating in activities that bring joy, mixing them to keep them fresh and engaging, and aligning goals with personal values and motivations.

Practice self-compassion. Building a happiness mindset is strongly connected to practicing self-compassion. Individuals can reduce the impact of negative self-criticism by being kind and patient with themselves during tough times. This approach not only strengthens emotional resilience but also limits the kind of negative thinking that can prevent happiness. Neff and Germer’s (2013) study backs this idea by showing that individuals who took part in their Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) program experienced improvements in overall well-being and life satisfaction, along with lower levels of anxiety and depression. Their findings emphasize that learning and practicing self-compassion through structured methods can result in long-term happiness..

How can therapy help?

In some cases, implementing the techniques above might not be sufficient for developing happiness as a trait. In order to achieve that, several therapy modalities have been designed to enhance trait happiness. For example, in EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) therapy, incorporating positive thoughts plays a crucial role in developing a happier mindset in the therapy process. EMDR helps people process and reframe difficult memories. Therapists can guide clients toward replacing negative thoughts by adding positive beliefs and more uplifting memories. For instance, after working through past trauma, people might start to embrace affirmations like “I deserve to be happy” or “I can handle challenges.” This change in mindset helps them view themselves and their emotions more positively (Shapiro, 2018). Adding gratitude practices can further enhance this effect. When people regularly acknowledge and appreciate the positive aspects of their lives, it supports and strengthens the positive changes made during EMDR. This combination helps people develop an optimistic perspective and improves their mental well-being. Also, therapy modalities like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) help by reframing unfunctional thoughts and recognizing harmful patterns. This leads to greater self-acceptance and fosters a more positive point of view, supporting long-term happiness.

Takeaways

Happiness is one of the primary and universal emotions that we experience uniquely. We experience happiness, whether rooted in external stimuli or we can mention our overall happiness, including all of the aspects of our lives. Nevertheless, several contributors to happiness include current affect, health-related and psychological factors, relationships, economic stability, and life satisfaction. Since all of these factors contribute to experience uniquely, the term subjective well-being. It includes positive emotion, engagement, relationship meaning, and accomplishment. In order to feel happy and develop a happy mindset, strategies such as engaging with a growth mindset, expressing gratitude, not comparing yourself with others, focusing on goals and journeys, and making a list of things you are happy about would be a great start.

References:

Diener, E., & Lucas, R. E. (1999). Personality and subjective well-being. Handbook of personality: Theory and research, 2, 451-471.
Berridge, K. C., & Kringelbach, M. L. (2015). Pleasure systems in the brain. Neuron, 86(3), 646-664.
Burgdorf, J., & Panksepp, J. (2006). The neurobiology of positive emotions. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 30(2), 173-187.
Saxena, S., & Ma, H. (2020). Cortisol and its effects on well-being: A review of recent research.
Diener, E., & Chan, M. Y. (2011). Happy people live longer: Subjective well-being contributes to health and longevity. Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being, 3(1), 1-43.
Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.
Reed, S., Welle, V., & Ernst, R. (2017). Lesson plan: Practicing gratitude via a gratitude journal. Teaching resources for high school psychology teachers on skills. Developed by the Working Group on Skills that Promote Well-Being and Flourishing from the APA Summit on High School Psychology Education, July 2017. American Psychological Association.
Sheldon, K. M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2007). Achieving sustainable gains in happiness: Change your actions, not your circumstances. Journal of Happiness Studies, 8(4), 391-407.
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28-44.

Book Now!

At Roamers Therapy, our psychotherapists are here to support you through anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship issues, race-ethnicity issues, LGBTQIA+ issues, ADHD, Autism, or any challenges you encounter. Our psychotherapists are trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Acceptance, and Commitment Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, and Gottman Therapy.

Whether you’re seeking guidance on a specific issue or need help navigating difficult emotions, we’re ready to assist you every step of the way.

Contact us today to learn more about our services and schedule a session with our mental health professionals to begin your healing journey. To get started with therapy, visit our booking page.

First, decide if you’ll be paying out-of-pocket or using insurance. If you’re a self-pay client, you can book directly through the “Book Now” page or fill out the “Self-Pay/Out-of-network Inquiry Form.” If you’re using insurance, fill out the “Insurance Verification Form” to receive details about your costs and availability. Please let us know your preferred therapist. If your preferred therapist isn’t available, you can join the waitlist by emailing us. Once your appointment is confirmed, you’ll receive intake documents to complete before your first session.

This page is also part of the Roamers Therapy Glossary; a collection of mental-health related definitions that are written by our therapists.

While our offices are currently located at the South Loop neighborhood of Downtown Chicago, Illinois, we also welcome and serve clients for online therapy from anywhere in Illinois and Washington, D.C. Clients from the Chicagoland area may choose in-office or online therapy and usually commute from surrounding areas such as River North, West Loop, Gold Coast, Old Town, Lincoln Park, Lake View, Rogers Park, Logan Square, Pilsen, Bridgeport, Little Village, Bronzeville, South Shore, Hyde Park, Back of the Yards, Wicker Park, Bucktown and many more. You can visit our contact page to access detailed information on our office location.