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What are love languages?

Love languages are ways that we show and receive love. There are five languages, which are words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, giving gifts, and physical touch. Words of affirmation are verbal things we say (like compliments) to show our partners that we love and appreciate them. Acts of service are things that we do for our partners that we think they would enjoy and appreciate, like cooking for them or giving them a massage. Quality time means spending dedicated time with your partner doing things you both enjoy. Giving gift is providing tangible and thoughtful presents, such as surprising your partner with their favorite flowers. Finally, physical touch is showing love through intimate and non-intimate touch, such as hugs or kisses.

Why are love languages important?

Love languages are important because it is necessary for our partners to know how we receive love, and similarly, it is important for us to know how our partners receive love. When we speak our partners’ love language(s) (or show our partners love in the way they like to receive it), they feel appreciated, and the same is true for us when our partners speak our love language(s). However, there are often miscommunication and misunderstandings when it comes to love languages. We may show partners love in a way they don’t receive (such as giving gifts to our partner who receives love through quality time), which makes our partners feel unappreciated or even unloved.

How can we show each other love?

The first in showing your partner love is to find out what your love languages are., There are many quizzes and resources online to do so. This is an activity you can even do with your partner that can be both intimate and fun. Next, share your results and communicate these to each other. Make sure to be specific so your partner has an idea of how to show you love. For example, if your love language is quality time, tell your partner specific things you like to do or even remind them of something they did you appreciated (like a date they planned).

This page is also part of the Roamers Therapy Glossary; a collection of mental-health related definitions that are written by our therapists.

While our offices are currently located at the South Loop neighborhood of Downtown Chicago, Illinois, we also welcome and serve clients for online therapy from anywhere in Illinois and Washington, D.C. Clients from the Chicagoland area may choose in-office or online therapy and usually commute from surrounding areas such as River North, West Loop, Gold Coast, Old Town, Lincoln Park, Lake View, Rogers Park, Logan Square, Pilsen, Bridgeport, Little Village, Bronzeville, South Shore, Hyde Park, Back of the Yards, Wicker Park, Bucktown and many more. You can visit our contact page to access detailed information on our office location.