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What is self-abandonment?

Life’s challenges can be overwhelming; everyone deserves a space to feel heard and supported. At Roamers Therapy, we provide trauma-informed, culturally sensitive, LGBTQIA+ affirming, and evidence-based environments to help you heal, grow, and navigate your mental well-being journey. As your psychotherapist,  we are here to guide you every step of the way.

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Self-abandonment is what is called when we neglect ourselves: we do not act in ways that are in our best interest, we do not value ourselves, and we do not practice self-care. Examples of self-abandonment are second-guessing yourself or ruminating and overthinking; people pleasing or seeking validation from others; hiding parts of yourself; focusing on someone else’s needs, wants, and desires; and ignoring your needs. The main point of self-abandonment is that you are neglecting yourself and prioritizing the needs of others.

Why do we self-abandon and how does it affect us?

Body: We self-abandon for several different reasons. Sometimes, it’s because we felt abandoned by parents who were emotionally neglectful. Other times, we do not feel valuable or important enough to love ourselves, so we neglect our needs and our self-care. This affects us negatively by impacting our relationships and the way we care for ourselves. Oftentimes, people who self-abandon tend to go above and beyond to please others, such as partners. When they feel that those people do not do the same for them and observe this as an imbalance and feel resentful and angry towards their partners. Because of this, they may act out towards their partners, which makes them feel guilty and leads to more people pleasing. l Self-abandonment is a cycle that can ultimately lead to anxiety, depression, and burnout.

Find the Best Therapist in Chicago for Avoiding Self-Abandonment

Self-abandonment is a cycle of constantly neglecting ourselves and putting someone (or something) else first. In order to stop this cycle, we need to develop a loving relationship with ourselves and accept ourselves completely (flaws and all). We do this through practicing self-compassion, allowing ourselves to have feelings and needs, being authentic, and setting boundaries.  When we allow ourselves to become a priority and learn to love ourselves, we are able to see the value in ourselves despite the imperfections and flaws.

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At Roamers Therapy, our psychotherapists are here to support you through anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship issues, race-ethnicity issues, LGBTQIA+ issues, ADHD, Autism, or any challenges you encounter. Our psychotherapists are trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Acceptance, and Commitment Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, and Gottman Therapy. 

Whether you’re seeking guidance on a specific issue or need help navigating difficult emotions, we’re ready to assist you every step of the way.

Contact us today to learn more about our services and schedule a session with our mental health professionals to begin your healing journey. To get started with therapy, visit our booking page.

First, decide if you’ll be paying out-of-pocket or using insurance. If you’re a self-pay client, you can book directly through the “Book Now” page or fill out the “Self-Pay/Out-of-network Inquiry Form.” If you’re using insurance, fill out the “Insurance Verification Form” to receive details about your costs and availability. Please let us know your preferred therapist. If your preferred therapist isn’t available, you can join the waitlist by emailing us. Once your appointment is confirmed, you’ll receive intake documents to complete before your first session.

This page is also part of the Roamers Therapy Glossary; a collection of mental-health related definitions that are written by our therapists.

While our offices are currently located at the South Loop neighborhood of Downtown Chicago, Illinois, we also welcome and serve clients for online therapy from anywhere in Illinois and Washington, D.C. Clients from the Chicagoland area may choose in-office or online therapy and usually commute from surrounding areas such as River North, West Loop, Gold Coast, Old Town, Lincoln Park, Lake View, Rogers Park, Logan Square, Pilsen, Bridgeport, Little Village, Bronzeville, South Shore, Hyde Park, Back of the Yards, Wicker Park, Bucktown and many more. You can visit our contact page to access detailed information on our office location.