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Shadow Self: Unveiling Our Hidden Inner Face

Have you ever felt like there are parts of yourself that you need to hide from others? Imagine you have finished a challenging exam that you worked really hard on. You gather with your friends after the exam to discuss it and share your answers. Furthermore, there is that one friend who keeps saying, “I am definitely going to fail. I think I got it all wrong. It was so difficult.” Then the next week comes, and the results are in. The exam result of the friend who thought they failed is higher than yours. You feel this deep frustration with them, and a thought appears in your mind. “Oh! They always do this. They always say they are going to fail, but they consistently get good scores. I am so annoyed with them. I worked so much harder, look at me.” Moreover, the moment you catch yourself thinking of these thoughts you feel so bad. You say to yourself, “What kind of a friend am I? I should be happy for them; they are my friends.” The guilt comes, and you feel horrible. You feel like a bad person and a friend. If someone were able to read your mind right there, they would surely cut their friendship with you. We all had experiences like that. We learned that some emotions or thoughts are unacceptable in society, so we try to fit in. So we repress and avoid these dark parts of ourselves. In this mini sketch, we will look into these emotions and thoughts. We can expect to look deeper and try to understand them by exploring the shadow self, including both positive and negative aspects of it. We will attempt to understand why we repress certain aspects of ourselves, how they manifest, and how they affect us, and finally, explore some ways to manage our shadow self. 

What is the Shadow Self?

We first encounter the concept of the shadow self in Jung’s model of the psyche. In Jung’s model of the psyche, key elements include the persona, our social mask; the ego, our sense of identity; and the shadow, our hidden side (Society of Analytical Psychology, 2015). Shadow is defined as part of the unconscious mind, comprising suppressed tendencies, flaws, and faults. In essence, it is the negative aspect of a person’s identity, encompassing all that the conscious self denies or refuses to admit. Enragement, sexual desire, greed, selfishness, the drive for power, and the potential for evil are examples of unpleasant human emotions and impulses (Maclaughin, 2014; The British Association of Anger Management, 2023). It is a part of ourselves, no matter how hard we try, that we cannot accept; the hidden, repressed part. The shadow is a universal aspect of the human experience. We try to hide this part of ourselves from the rest of the world, and sometimes, because we do a really good job of suppressing it, we become blind to this shadow self. Unfortunately, suppressing the shadow selves does not solve our problems but only makes them worse. Emotionally flooded reactions, anxiety, and low self-esteem are common symptoms in the face of trying to look away from our shadow self. Interestingly, shadow is not full of negative attributes. The shadow self can also encompass positive traits that we have not fully embraced, such as creativity, care, brilliance, affection, and more. Let us examine the negative and positive attributes we find in the shadow self. 

What are the Negative and Positive Sides of the Shadow Self?

Our shadow self comprises parts of ourselves that we unconsciously reject, suppress, or disown. We might think that if I am trying to suppress them, they must be all negative traits, but this is not the case. The shadow self is not inherently harmful. The reason we suppress them is not that they are “bad,” but accepting and facing them will make us “unacceptable”. 

Common negative attributes people may keep hidden include:

  • Negative emotions (e.g., anger, shame, and jealousy)
  • Confrontation
  • Insecurities 
  • Impulsivity 
  • Sexual and romantic desires 

As mentioned, the shadow self can also encompass positive attributes that we conceal for various reasons. Here are some positive traits people may commonly try to repress (Korkunova, 2017):

  • Confidence 
  • Creativity 
  • Self-Expression 
  • Ambition
  • Assertiveness
  • Compassion

This brings up an interesting question. If our shadow includes both the traits we dislike and the positive qualities we see in others, why do we hide any of it? Why would we cover up our creativity, confidence, or assertiveness along with feelings like anger or jealousy? We briefly touched on the reason we suppress, which is to feel accepted. However, to gain a deeper understanding of the shadow self, let us explore its roots.

Why Do We Repress the Shadow Self? 

The reason we repress the shadow is that, from our infancy, we learn which parts of ourselves are considered acceptable and which are not through family dynamics, cultural expectations, and social conditioning. Something to keep in mind is that these attributes are socially and culturally dependent, meaning that something may be deemed unacceptable or taboo by one person but completely normal for someone else. Over time, the repression becomes automatic. Through time, repression becomes a defense mechanism that helps preserve our image. How hard we try to make them go, these parts of ourselves do not disappear. Jung says, when we repress these parts, they only become blacker and darker (Society of Analytical Psychology, 2015). Repression causes regression, projection, compulsion, and shadow self to manifest themselves in different ways. In the next chapter, we will discuss these manifestations. 

How Does the Shadow Self Manifest Itself?

Despite our efforts to conceal the shadow self, it still manages to manifest in various ways. Here are some examples (Othon, 2023):

  1. A tendency to harshly judge others, especially if that judgment comes on an impulse.
  2. Pointing out one’s insecurities as flaws in another.
  3. A quick temper with people in subordinate positions of power.
  4. Frequently playing the “victim” of every situation.
  5. A willingness to step on others to achieve one’s ends.
  6. Unacknowledged biases and prejudices 

Recognizing these manifestations and understanding what the shadow self is and its origins is the first step in accepting it and addressing inner dilemmas. It can truly be uncomfortable to face these traits, but as we have learned so far, repressing them only makes it worse, and they have a way of showing. So let us look closely at accepting and managing the shadow self. 

How to Manage the Shadow Self?

Managing the shadow self requires time and effort, and it can be challenging. It is essential to recognize that this is a part of us that we should not try to eliminate, but rather face and acknowledge. However, it is crucial for us to be our authentic selves. Here are some ways you can start this journey (Psyche, 2025; Schenck, 2012): 

  • Self-Reflection: Try understanding the purpose and cause of these hidden attributes. 
  • Name the Shadow: By giving a name to the shadow self, we can demystify it and make it less scary to uncover. 
  • Use Irritation as a Mirror: Pay mindful attention when someone irritates or upsets you.
  • Practice Non-Judgmental Acceptance: Through mindfulness practice, notice and accept all feelings, thoughts, and impulses that arise without judgment.
  • Therapy: Psychotherapy, and psychodynamic therapy in particular, can be very helpful in uncovering some of the parts you have tried to keep hidden.
  • Journaling: Try a journaling prompt where you write a response from the perspective of your shadow self.

It is good to remember that shadow contains all sorts of qualities, capacities, and potential, which, if not recognised and owned, maintain a state of impoverishment in the personality and deprive the person of sources of energy and bridges of connectedness with others (SAP, 2015).

Journaling Prompt

  1. What are the characteristics you admire in others that you wish you had? Why do you not have this characteristic yourself? 
  2. What tends to trigger the ______ attribute for you? Why?
  3. How has hiding this _____ trait benefited you? How has hiding it not benefited you? 
  4. What has ______ trait tried to protect you from in the past? 
  5. What is something you think your shadow self wants you to know about it? 
  6. How can I build an intentional and balanced relationship with my shadow self?  

Takeaways:

  • We all have a shadow self. Every person carries suppressed parts of themselves, formed through childhood conditioning and social expectations. This hidden aspect of our psyche is an inevitable part of human experience, not a personal failing or weakness.
  • The shadow contains both negative and positive traits. While we might assume our shadow only holds “bad” qualities like anger or jealousy, it also contains positive attributes we’ve learned to suppress, like creativity, confidence, assertiveness, and compassion. We hide these not because they’re harmful, but because we fear they’ll make us socially unacceptable.
  • Healing requires bringing our shadow into the light. Genuine authenticity means acknowledging all parts of ourselves rather than trying to eliminate them. When we recognize and own our shadow qualities, we reclaim energy and capacity for deeper connections. Suppression only makes these parts “blacker and darker,” manifesting in unhealthy ways through projection, compulsion, and emotional flooding.
  • Shadow work is a long, challenging journey. Accepting your shadow self requires patience, self-compassion, and often professional support. It involves practices like mindful self-reflection, naming your shadow, using irritation as a mirror for self-discovery, and non-judgmental acceptance. This process takes time but leads to becoming more whole and authentic.

References

  1. The British Association of Anger Management. (November, 2023). https://www.angermanage.co.uk/understanding-carl-jungs-concept-of-the-shadow/
  2. Korkunova, Olga V; Bushueva, Tatyana I. Logos et Praxis**; Volgograd** Vol. 16, Iss. 2, (Sep 2017). DOI:10.15688/lp.jvolsu.2017.2.3 
  3. Mclaughlin, Rob. (2014). Shadow Work In Support of the Adult Developmental Journey. 10.13140/2.1.2735.4402. 
  4. Mindfulness Muse. (2011). Identify & accept your shadow self. https://www.mindfulnessmuse.com/individual-differences/identify-accept-your-shadow-self
  5. Othon, J. E. (2017). Carl Jung and the shadow: The ultimate guide to the human dark side. High Existence. https://www.highexistence.com/carl-jung-shadow-guide-unconscious/
  6. Psyche. (April, 2025). https://psyche.co/guides/three-ways-to-get-in-touch-with-your-shadow-self
  7. Society of Analytical Psychology. (2025). https://www.thesap.org.uk/articles-on-jungian-psychology-2/about-analysis-and-therapy/the-shadow/
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