We are All Fellow Travelers

Sometimes, as we rush through modern life, such as trying to get home from work, with a to-do list that never seems to end, while juggling responsibilities, and trying to keep our heads above water, we may feel a sense of heaviness deep inside, even though everything looks fine on the surface. Or, we might feel that heaviness when nothing seems to be going the way we want. In both these situations (or countless others), we might ask ourselves:

• Does any of this have meaning?
• Is this the life I chose for myself, or just how I ended up?
• Are my choices truly my own?

Or some of us might avoid these questions altogether because the answers can feel too unsettling. And the hardest part is that there seem to be no absolute, universally applicable answers to these questions. Life does not offer us a “predetermined” meaning that fits everyone. Diving into these questions can sometimes feel like diving without an oxygen tank. As you go deeper, it may feel as though you’re running out of breath. This is when existential psychotherapy might help create a space where you can explore in depth without running out of breath. Existential therapy does not offer a ready-made guide, but it might help you feel less alone in your search for meaning. It doesn’t try to quickly get rid of certain uncomfortable feelings, but rather invites us to understand what they mean. Because what modern society calls “symptoms” might be important clues about our lives, our choices, and what matters to us. In this therapy sketch, we will discover what existential psychotherapy is, its fundamental concepts, and how it can support us in our journey.

What is existential psychotherapy?

Existential psychotherapy is a form of psychotherapy that has been practiced for some time now. However, compared to many contemporary approaches, it doesn’t involve too much technicality or procedures. It is, however, philosophically quite rich and often described by its practitioners as a way of thinking and living rather than simply a methodology. 

Early influences and the foundations

Existential psychotherapy has roots in a philosophical tradition called “Existentialism,” in which the topics of the human condition, death, freedom, and meaninglessness are the main focus. In the following, we provide a brief overview of how this tradition led to the development of existential psychotherapy (van Deurzen, 2010; Yalom & Josselson, 2019).

• Existentialism historically goes quite far back. Some of the most foundational early thinkers who influenced existential psychotherapists are Kierkegaard and Nietzsche. For instance, facing our life difficulties rather than eliminating them to become our true selves, and creating our own values and choosing who we want to be are ideas we can trace back to them.

• In recent history, when we think of existentialism, we most often hear the names Jean-Paul Sartre, Gabriel Marcel, and Simone de Beauvoir. These thinkers contributed to key themes, such as the idea that we are free, but this places an unbearable responsibility on us. Similarly, some of them thought we are free, but that our choices affect others, and that genuine meaning in life can be found through connections with others.

• Ludwig Binswanger (1943), a peer of Freud, was the first physician to systematically incorporate existentialism into psychotherapy.

• The work of Rollo May, Ernest Angel, and Henri Ellenberger (1958) introduced existential psychotherapy to the United States.

• The first textbook was written by Irvin Yalom (1980), called Existential Psychotherapy. Irvin Yalom is one of the most influential figures in existential psychotherapy, and many of his books have made existential psychotherapy more accessible to all of us.

• There are many important figures who helped this field to expand, including Erich Fromm (his famous book called The Art of Loving (1956)), and Victor Frankl (his particular way of practicing existential psychotherapy is called “Logotherapy”, and his famous book is called Man’s Search For Meaning (1956)).

Fundamental concepts in existential psychotherapy

1. Ultimate concerns

According to existential therapy, the root cause of the psychological suffering and pain we experience as human beings lies in our confrontation with certain truths inherent in our nature, known as “ultimate concerns,” and our sense of helplessness in the face of them.

• Freedom: This freedom is different from the freedom we perceive as positive and strive for in our daily lives. It refers to the absence of a predefined answer, path, or meaning in the life we live, and to the fact that we decide what our lives will mean. However, if we are free, this also means we are responsible for our lives. This responsibility can be so overwhelming that it can push us toward despair, hopelessness, fear, and terror.

• Isolation: Isolation speaks to our inevitable loneliness in this life. We feel a strong urge to connect with others. From the moment we are born, we form deep relationships, first with our caregivers and then with others. Yet no matter what we do, there is no way to become “one,” and there will always be a separateness, an isolation. For example, at the end of our lives, it is only us. According to existential views, this is something that really shakes us and leaves us feeling fearful at our core.  

• Meaning: We constantly seek meaning. We need our lives to have meaning, for the work we do and the relationships we build to be “meaningful.” However, there is no pre-given meaning in this life. There is no “absolute” meaning out there that we can find by digging like an archaeologist, which is true for everyone. According to existentialist psychotherapists, underlying our daily complaints is often an awareness that life is meaningless and empty, that we lack a purpose.

• Death: Another human condition that affects us and leads to psychological suffering is the finite nature of our lives. This is a reality we cannot change, no matter what we do. Like other existential concerns, it stirs up fear and despair within us and drains our energy.

2. The therapist is a “fellow traveler.”

Another important thing existential psychotherapy does is to see the therapist as a “fellow traveler”. No matter how competent the therapist is, they are not immune to existential dilemmas. They also need to face their human condition, the lack of meaning in life, the isolation, the freedom, and that life is finite. That’s why existential therapy sees the therapist and the client as equals, both traveling in this lifetime and sharing a journey. However, this doesn’t mean that therapists are not structured in their work, or do not utilize any frameworks. Rather, it invites a level of genuineness and transparency that goes beyond many therapy traditions, which allows a rich therapeutic relationship.

What causes psychological suffering according to the existential approach?

Many existential psychotherapists understand our inner experience as involving complex emotions and behaviors, and they recognize that our awareness of them differs. Some we are aware of, some aren’t. They also believe that many elements of our personality or inner experience are in conflict, which is at the root of our psychological difficulties. 

For example, many existential psychotherapists believe that our awareness of ultimate concerns (death, freedom, isolation, meaninglessness) creates a tension and anxiety in ourselves that is too hard to bear (Yalom, 1980). To manage this tension, we develop certain defenses or ways of being in the world, some of which eventually lose their function, become dysfunctional, and create unnecessary suffering (including symptoms).

How do we live more fully according to existential psychotherapy?

• According to existential therapy, the path toward a more fulfilling life and finding well-being lies not in escaping these ultimate concerns, but in confronting them. Even simply “seeing” and accepting them can be therapeutic. 
• Responding to life’s inherent meaninglessness by finding purposeful work, projects, and commitments is an important step. 
• Seeing that our lives will one day end as something that enriches life can free us from the pain of death. Most probably, if we were to live forever, many of the things we pursue would cease to bring us joy. Instead of being discouraged by life’s finiteness, we can use it to fuel more action in our lives, here and now. 
• Finally, realizing that we are fully responsible. We create meaning, we choose to connect with others, and embracing this responsibility is what will eventually lead to an authentic and fulfilling life experience.

Existential psychotherapy vs. other therapies

According to its many practitioners, existential psychotherapy is not a combination of discrete techniques but rather a way of thinking about and understanding the human condition and human suffering (Yalom & Josselson, 2019). In fact, most often, going through your own therapy through this lens and reading many influential texts can help a lot in integrating this approach into our lives or work. Similarly, because it is a thinking system rather than a single technique, it is often compatible and can be incorporated alongside other psychotherapy methods. However, it also carries significant differences with certain approaches.

For example, existential psychotherapy considers itself a dynamic psychotherapy and shares commonalities with many psychodynamic approaches. That is, both perspectives share an understanding that our inner lives are dynamic and ongoing, and they involve emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that we are sometimes not consciously aware of. And, that many elements of our personality or inner experience are constantly in conflict, leading to psychological difficulties. But simply, they disagree in terms of “what” is in conflict (Yalom, 1980). Still, they also share other similarities, such as the use of dream interpretation, analysis, and exploration.

Other common therapeutic approaches also share many aspects with existential psychotherapy. For example, existential psychotherapy is compatible with aspects of CBT or ACT, in which unhelpful thinking patterns are restructured to incorporate authentic values (Yalom & Josselson, 2019). However, they also differ significantly in how they understand the cause of our suffering and what they seek to eliminate. For example, existential psychotherapy doesn’t focus too much on diagnostic labels, alleviating symptoms, or improving a set of behaviors, as many cognitive therapies do, but rather aims to explore and face existential dilemmas here and now.

When we consider all of these, we can say that what distinguishes existential therapy from other approaches is not so much the techniques that it includes. According to existential therapy, deliberately looking at life and our human condition is a change mechanism in itself. The endless questions or “concerns” are not here for us to eliminate because they are an inevitable part of being human. That is why existential psychotherapy aims not so much to resolve these experiences as it is to engage with them more directly. 

Takeaways

• Existential therapy is a way of understanding life and the human condition.
• According to this approach, psychological difficulties often arise from our confrontation with ultimate concerns related to our human condition, such as death, freedom, isolation, and meaning.
• Avoiding these realities can create more suffering, while facing them can shift our experience.
• Meaning is not something we find, but something we create through our choices and commitments.
• The goal is not to eliminate existential concerns, but to engage with them more directly to create an authentic and fulfilling life.

References

Binswanger, L. (1943). Grundformen und Erkenntnis menschlichen Daseins [Basic forms and knowledge of human existence]. Niehans Verlag.

van Deurzen, E. (2010). Everyday mysteries: A handbook of existential psychotherapy (2nd ed.). Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

Frankl, V. E. (1959). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press.

Fromm, E. (1956). The art of loving. Harper & Brothers.

May, R., Angel, E., & Ellenberger, H. F. (Eds.). (1958). Existence: A new dimension in psychiatry and psychology. Basic Books

Yalom, I. D. (1980). Existential psychotherapy. Basic Books/Hachette Book Group.

Yalom, I. D., & Josselson, R. (2019). Existential psychotherapy. In D. Wedding & R. J. Corsini (Eds.), Current psychotherapies (11th ed., pp. 273-308). Boston, MA: Cengage.

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At Roamers Therapy, our psychotherapists are here to support you through anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship issues, race-ethnicity issues, LGBTQIA+ issues, ADHD, Autism, or any challenges you encounter. Our psychotherapists are trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Acceptance, and Commitment Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, and Gottman Therapy. 

Whether you’re seeking guidance on a specific issue or need help navigating difficult emotions, we’re ready to assist you every step of the way.

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This page is also part of the Roamers Therapy Glossary; a collection of mental-health related definitions that are written by our therapists.

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