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What Does It Mean to Weaponize Mental Health and Healing?

Weaponizing mental health and healing occurs in a few different situations: 

  • When one person makes changes to better their mental health, another person uses these changes against them. 
  • When one person uses language, skills, or techniques they learned in therapy against another person, they use another person’s mental health problems against them.
  • When someone uses their own mental health problems against another person.

Important Disclaimer

As we begin to dive into weaponized mental health and healing, it is important to note the following: 

  • Everyone is responsible for their own mental health and the decisions they make. 
  • We cannot control other people. 
  • Our goals may not align with the goals of others around us. 
  • Everyone’s journey with mental health is a unique and personal process. 
  • There are many different ways to manage mental health problems, but there is no singular “correct” way to do so. 
  • Mental health problems affect different people differently.
  •  We can understand that people are impacted by mental health and do not endure harmful or abusive behavior.

Situation 1

When one person makes changes to better their mental health, another person uses these changes against them. A common example of this type of situation is boundaries. When people begin to set boundaries in relationships where there aren’t any, the other parties may become upset. As such, these individuals might ridicule the individual for setting boundaries or intentionally disrespect the individual’s boundaries. Other examples include:

  • Being told therapy is not working.
  • Getting told that you need more therapy.
  • Getting gaslighted.
  • Having personal progress questioned.

Situation 2

When one person uses language, skills, or techniques they learned in therapy against another person. Boundary setting is a common example here as well. In this situation, people may tend to conflate (intentionally or unintentionally) setting boundaries with ultimatums. For example, one person does not smoke, so states that by their partner smoking, the partner is violating their boundaries. Remember, boundaries are limits we set for ourselves, and ultimatums are ways we try to control other people. Other examples include: 

  • Overusing or misusing terminology (e.g., boundaries, toxic, narcissism, triggers, etc.). 
  • Developing a sense of superiority due to being in therapy. 
  • Conflating the difference between prioritizing one’s needs and being selfish.

Situation 3

When someone uses another person’s mental health problems against them. This often happens in relationships (e.g., work, friends, family, and partners). A common example includes one partner having anxiety and another partner constantly blaming the individual’s anxiety or dismissing their concerns. Other examples include: 

  • Gaslighting.
  • Blaming the person’s mental health on the sole cause of the issue(s). 
  • Calling someone crazy for being in therapy or having concerns. 
  • Belittling someone’s mental health problems.

Situation 4

Someone uses their own mental health problems against another person; this often happens when someone uses mental health problems as a way to excuse their behaviors. While mental health problems do impact our behaviors, it’s important to understand that our feelings are always valid, but our behaviors are not always valid. Some examples of things people might blame their mental health on are: 

  • Bullying 
  • Lying 
  • Ghosting 
  • Cheating/Infidelity 
  • Gaslighting 
  • Engaging in risky behaviors 
  • Behaving abusively

Takeaways

There are many ways that we may weaponize mental health and healing (either intentionally or not). Whether someone is weaponizing mental health against you or you might be doing it to someone else, it’s important to remember the following: 

  1. Everyone’s mental health journey is personal. 
  2. There is no singular, correct way to manage mental health problems. 
  3. Mental health problems and healing will look different for different people.
  4. We can only be responsible for ourselves and our behaviors. 
  5. We cannot control others. 
  6. Our feelings are always valid, but our behaviors are not always valid.

While our physical offices are located in South Loop and Lakeview neighborhoods in Chicago, Illinois for in-person sessions, we also welcome and serve clients for online therapy from anywhere in Illinois and Washington, D.C. Clients from the Chicagoland area may choose in-office or online therapy and usually commute from surrounding areas such as River North, West Loop, Gold Coast, Old Town, Lincoln Park, Lake View, Rogers Park, Logan Square, Pilsen, Bridgeport, Little Village, Bronzeville, South Shore, Hyde Park, Back of the Yards, Wicker Park, Bucktown and many more.  

This page is also part of the Roamers Therapy Glossary; a collection of mental-health related definitions that are written by our therapists.

While our offices are currently located at the South Loop neighborhood of Downtown Chicago, Illinois, we also welcome and serve clients for online therapy from anywhere in Illinois and Washington, D.C. Clients from the Chicagoland area may choose in-office or online therapy and usually commute from surrounding areas such as River North, West Loop, Gold Coast, Old Town, Lincoln Park, Lake View, Rogers Park, Logan Square, Pilsen, Bridgeport, Little Village, Bronzeville, South Shore, Hyde Park, Back of the Yards, Wicker Park, Bucktown and many more. You can visit our contact page to access detailed information on our office location.