What is radical acceptance?
Radical acceptance is a term that means to “accept completely or fully.” Radical acceptance is a distress tolerance skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy; it means accepting reality. While this may seem simple enough, it’s actually one of the most difficult skills to master. Radical acceptance requires accepting stressors and unfavorable outcomes. Examples of radical acceptance include understanding that we cannot change the weather that made us late or change a company’s decision after being turned down for a job offer. Radical acceptance is not the same as toxic positivity or “finding silver linings.” It is the act of embracing what is outside our control and ending needless suffering.
How does radical acceptance affect me?
Radical acceptance may be one of the more difficult distress tolerance skills to master, but it is also one of the most useful. Many people with both anxiety and/or depression may find comfort in control. It can be refreshing to feel as though we have control over the outcome of the situation. Many times, however, control gives us a false sense of security because we believe that we can control things that we absolutely cannot. For example, if we are running late to work due to weather-induced traffic, we may become very frustrated with ourselves and try to speed or run to try and make it on time. We may also be angry with the weather (or universe) for making us late. The truth is, we cannot control the weather any more than we can control time. We can only control things like getting to work safely, communicating with our supervisor about what occurred, and planning better next time (e.g., checking the weather ahead of time and budgeting time accordingly). So, rather than dwelling on things we cannot control or things we wish we could, it can be much more beneficial and freeing to embrace reality and focus on what is within our control right now. When we consistently accept reality, no matter how unfavorable, we are better able to manage our distress.
Find the Best Therapist in Chicago to Practice Radical Acceptance
Practicing distress tolerance can start small. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed or emotionally dysregulated by a situation, take a moment to take a step back. Ask yourself, “Am I questioning reality?” (e.g., what is happening? What am I feeling? Why am I feeling this?) or, “am I fighting reality?” (e.g., This is not fair! Why is this happening to me?). Next, take a moment to practice grounding or mindfulness exercises, or other relaxation techniques. In DBT, there are many relaxation techniques that involve the five senses (i.e, sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch). When you feel a little more regulated, try asking yourself whether there is anything you need to accept, and what is within your control now and moving forward. For example, this might mean accepting the fact that you will be late to work and may be penalized. It may also mean focusing on getting to work safely and planning better in the future. Many journaling exercises may be helpful. Focus on variables that are within your control, sit with uncomfortable emotions such as disappointment, sadness, or fear, and let go of outcomes in which you have no control. Finally, you can ask your therapist if they can work with you on radical acceptance and loss of control.
At Roamers Therapy, our psychotherapists are here to support you through anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship issues, race-ethnicity issues, LGBTQIA+ issues, ADHD, Autism, or any challenges you encounter. Our psychotherapists are trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Acceptance, and Commitment Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, and Gottman Therapy.
Whether you’re seeking guidance on a specific issue or need help navigating difficult emotions, we’re ready to assist you every step of the way.
Contact us today to learn more about our services and schedule a session with our mental health professionals to begin your healing journey. To get started with therapy, visit our booking page.
First, decide if you’ll be paying out-of-pocket or using insurance. If you’re a self-pay client, you can book directly through the “Book Now” page or fill out the “Self-Pay/Out-of-network Inquiry Form.” If you’re using insurance, fill out the “Insurance Verification Form” to receive details about your costs and availability. Please let us know your preferred therapist. If your preferred therapist isn’t available, you can join the waitlist by emailing us. Once your appointment is confirmed, you’ll receive intake documents to complete before your first session.
This page is also part of the Roamers Therapy Glossary; a collection of mental-health related definitions that are written by our therapists.
While our offices are currently located at the South Loop neighborhood of Downtown Chicago and Lakeview on Chicago’s North Side, Illinois, we also welcome and serve clients for online therapy from anywhere in Illinois and Washington, D.C. Clients from the Chicagoland area may choose in-office or online therapy and usually commute from surrounding areas such as River North, West Loop, Gold Coast, Old Town, Lincoln Park, Rogers Park, Logan Square, Pilsen, Bridgeport, Little Village, Bronzeville, South Shore, Hyde Park, Back of the Yards, Wicker Park, Bucktown and many more. You can visit our contact page to access detailed information on our office location.