What is relationship cycling?
Life’s challenges can be overwhelming; everyone deserves a space to feel heard and supported. At Roamers Therapy, we provide trauma-informed, culturally sensitive, LGBTQIA+ affirming, and evidence-based environments to help you heal, grow, and navigate your mental well-being journey. As your psychotherapist, we are here to guide you every step of the way.
We have all either seen, been, or heard of the couple who never “really’ breaks up because they are consistently getting back together. Well, these patterns are not just for young or finicky people. This pattern of repeated “on-again, off-again,” dating behaviors is known as relationship cycling, and anyone can find themselves in one. People may find themselves in a pattern of relationship cycling for a number of different reasons, some being history (e.g, you have been with someone for a long time), life stressors (e.g., finances), poor communication, or other harmful behaviors (e.g., infidelity). Many times people find themselves stuck in these patterns because of hopes that things have changed or timing is better. However, whether these relationships will work is very much dependent on the types of issues they are dealing with.
How does relationship cycling affect me?
In addition to being annoying or frustrating to our loved ones, relationship cycling can be detrimental to our wellbeing and health. When we enter into these stressful patterns of relationship breakups and makeups, we tend to experience low self esteem, heightened stress, anxiety, and depression. In addition to this, people who experience relationship cycling report less intimacy and satisfaction as well as more frustration and resentment toward their partners than couples who do not report these patterns. The relationships can be toxic and abusive as they continue to develop, which can make them more difficult to leave.
Find the Best Therapist in Chicago to Learn more about Relationship Cycling
Though relationship cycling gets a bad reputation, it is true that there are times in which these relationships can work. For example, sometimes these breaks are necessary due to distance or another severe circumstance. Other times, people want to take breaks to focus on their needs and then try to meet up again. However, these types of breaks require intentionality and commitment. Relationships cannot work when there is poor communication, repeated injuries, resentment, lack of trust, or abuse. Essentially, we cannot continue to make the same choices and hope for different outcomes. Learning to understand patterns and how we might contribute to them is the first step in avoiding these stressful cycles. It is also important for us to recognize when it is time to move on. Regardless of how hard or painful it might feel, sometimes the healthiest decision for us in the long run is to walk away. In addition to this, working with a therapist (individual and/or as a couple) regardless of whether you want to terminate or repair the relationship, can be extremely helpful in prioritizing our needs and wellbeing.
At Roamers Therapy, our psychotherapists are here to support you through anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship issues, race-ethnicity issues, LGBTQIA+ issues, ADHD, Autism, or any challenges you encounter. Our psychotherapists are trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Acceptance, and Commitment Therapy, Person-Centered Therapy, and Gottman Therapy.
Whether you’re seeking guidance on a specific issue or need help navigating difficult emotions, we’re ready to assist you every step of the way.
Contact us today to learn more about our services and schedule a session with our mental health professionals to begin your healing journey. To get started with therapy, visit our booking page.
First, decide if you’ll be paying out-of-pocket or using insurance. If you’re a self-pay client, you can book directly through the “Book Now” page or fill out the “Self-Pay/Out-of-network Inquiry Form.” If you’re using insurance, fill out the “Insurance Verification Form” to receive details about your costs and availability. Please let us know your preferred therapist. If your preferred therapist isn’t available, you can join the waitlist by emailing us. Once your appointment is confirmed, you’ll receive intake documents to complete before your first session.
This page is also part of the Roamers Therapy Glossary; a collection of mental-health related definitions that are written by our therapists.
While our offices are currently located at the South Loop neighborhood of Downtown Chicago, Illinois, we also welcome and serve clients for online therapy from anywhere in Illinois and Washington, D.C. Clients from the Chicagoland area may choose in-office or online therapy and usually commute from surrounding areas such as River North, West Loop, Gold Coast, Old Town, Lincoln Park, Lake View, Rogers Park, Logan Square, Pilsen, Bridgeport, Little Village, Bronzeville, South Shore, Hyde Park, Back of the Yards, Wicker Park, Bucktown and many more. You can visit our contact page to access detailed information on our office location.