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Why do people end therapy before they are ready?

Ending therapy or terminating a therapeutic relationship is a normal part of the therapeutic process. While some therapy styles might have a set timeline with an exact end date (such as some executive functioning training), most therapy relationships do not.

Terminating Therapy Early

Each therapeutic relationship has its own journey, and in an ideal world, therapy would end at a mutually agreed-upon place. However, this is not always the case. People may decide to prematurely terminate a therapeutic relationship early for a number of different reasons, which may be either within or outside of their control.

Factors Outside of Our Control

Common factors that are outside of our control which may lead us to terminate therapy early include some of the following:

  • Financial constraints 
  • Insurance changes 
  • Scheduling changes 
  • Therapists leaving 
  • Health issues 
  • Therapist’s expertise or scope of practice 
  • Client-provider fit 
  • Therapist’s style or approach

Factors Within Our Control

Common factors that are within our control which may lead us to terminate therapy early include some of the following: 

  • Readiness to change 
  • Willingness or desire to change 
  • Ability to make a commitment 
  • Client-provider fit 
  • Skewed expectations of therapy and therapeutic process 
  • Willingness to go through the healing process 
  • Attachment or avoidance 
  • Reluctance to provide therapist with feedback

How Does Terminating Therapy Affect Us?

The therapeutic relationship is a social relationship, like any other relationship we may find ourselves in. As such, when a therapeutic relationship ends (whether we initiate termination or not), we may feel emotions similar to any other relationship termination: 

  • Anger 
  • Grief 
  • Sadness or depression 
  • Fear or anxiety 
  • Guilt 
  • Shame or embarrassment 
  • Betrayal 
  • Abandonment

How to Avoid Early Termination

If you are in a therapeutic relationship and are considering terminating before you are ready, there are a few things you can do. 

If the situation is within your control, ask yourself the following: 

  • Why am I terminating therapy? 
  • Is there a rupture I can work through? 
  • How will I manage my mental health without therapy?

 If the situation is outside of your control, ask yourself the following:

  • Can my therapist help prepare me for termination? 
  • Does my therapist have referrals for me? 
  • How will I manage my mental health without therapy?

How to Manage Early Termination

If you have terminated therapy prematurely, there are a few things you can do to manage this change: 

  • Ask your therapist to help prepare you for the termination. 
  • Develop a mental health maintenance and safety plan. 
  • Identify self-care and coping strategies. 
  • Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship. 
  • Understand that you can rebuild a therapeutic relationship with someone new.
  • Outline steps you would take to restart therapy if/when needed. 
  • Reflect on the meaning of this termination. 
  • Ask for referrals from your therapist.